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Thursday, December 14, 2006

This is an age of maturation.... towards equality

Women will find what’s their true potential, which is nothing but complimentary to that of men, since they have evolved to fend for each other, and not to eliminate each other!

But in the meanwhile all these jingoism and one-up(wo)manship could be done away with, and especially the bad-feminists need to be shooed away by women themselves......or like those ugly roaches, crushed with no mercy!.

Together we win and sustain, together we evolve(as we have evolved).
This is the era of information and knowledge (not brute force, when men were definitely superior), so in this new epoch women will have every opportunity for level playing field. They just need to apply their minds and get what they deserve, and not resort to terrorist activities, subverting their own existence!
The day when true feminism is will meld into humanism. Since Man and Woman evolved for each other, else self-pollinating species would have been enough, why didn't evolve as a major species and stay(hermaphrodites). Yes we need both, its a dove-tail fit, complimentary traits, which could have been accommodated in a single body.

The ardhanareeswara concept takes this a bit further, staying that to be fully evolved is to have both traits of Male and Female species for a fuller existence and effect. While u have the courage and aggression characteristic of a man, u need patience and vigil of a female to strike when its apt. The love and warmth of a mom coupled with a stern and unrelenting attention of a father. The forgiveness of a mother coupled with the austerity of a father. These are the ways to a better existence, not sorties of destruction aimed at genocide!

The day when we strike a balance is when true feminism wins and so does humanism(since there is a woman inside everyman, and vice versa!)
Ref: Artcle: 16 Days of Activism: Rutgers Sponsors Global Feminist TerrorismDecember 13, 2006 Vox Populi, Family, Politics, Feminism By David R. Usher :

Monday, August 07, 2006

498a Misuse on Zee News

Interview with Gokul, Mumbai about how IPC 498a was misused against him. The accusations were obviously false but police arrested him(as it happens to most of teh accused) even without asking whats the truth or the prima facie evidence he had with him

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

dowry law abuse in india

Bharthi's Interview Part-1

Bharthi's interview Part-2(High court and then Supreme court quashes the case since it does not amount to a Cruelty/Harassment or Dowry case- when all the wife wants all his property!)

Raj Kaushal's interview (Wife tried to extort money in collusion with authorities!-Supreme court spoils this sinister plan)

Interview with Gokul, Mumbai(Police investigatio reveals that the property said to have been misappropriated is with the complainants!- but they just had to ask Gokul and he could have given the evidence lying with him, but he had to be jailed for 3 days and fight 3 years and running to fight an already void case!).

Why should these cases, many of which have prima facie evidences of being false, entertained at all?- does the system feel that the courts are not loaded with avoidable work on false and frivolous cases?

These are the 4 Video clips of the CRIMEFILE program: on IPC Section 498a and dowry law misuse in India by Zee News(30&31/07/2006).

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Zee news "CRIMEFILE" on misuse of 498a&Dowry law:Sunday night11PM, Repeats Monday 10.30AM&4.30PM

To the Media Personnel and other responsible Citizens
This is to inform the telecast of a TV program on Misuse of 498a and Dowry laws, this will be telecasted on 30th July Sunday night 11 P.M, in "Crime File" program on Zee News . This repeats on Monday morning 10.30AM and evening 4.30PM. Zee News Schedule is here:  .
 Address: CRIME FILE, Zee News, Essel Studio, FC-19, Sector 16-A, Noida - 201301, India
Phone: 91-0120- 2515399, 2511064 to 76
Send e-mail for Advertising : .
Spread the news and awareness. Also see program "Jurm" in Aajtak today(29th July, Saturday) 11.30PM for the coverage of a similar case of Law misuse.
Do contact us if you or your office also is interested in reporting or knowing more about Misuse of IPC 498a and Dowry laws by Indian wives, putting hapless and innocent husbands and their families in distress and chronic misery. You can read more about IPC 498a misuse and our petitions and awareness efforts at . News in media about cruelty by women/false cases: .
To read about the widespread misuse of laws like IPC 498a and Dowry Act, and why even the Supreme court has acknowledged misuse of 498a… read..
Warm Regards
P.R.Gokul ,
Tele/Fax : +91 22 25614188(Bombay, Res), +91 9821414336
Join SIF Mumbai Chapter:
24-hour All India Helpline Number:+91-9243473794
Volunteer Helpline Numbers(send SMS if unavailable)
Delhi     : 9871734980, 9810611534, 9911119113
Chandigarh: 9888562582
Bangalore : 80-55334135
Mumbai    : 9224335577
Jaipur    : 9352562456
emails: ,,
See ongoing awareness campaigns:, to post to this blog send email to


Friday, July 28, 2006

Blog using your Emails: Send a copy of your 498a awareness emails to

Hi All,

Even if you do not have a blog, or can't get on the web to post it. Just email a copy your awareness emails to (put this email id in the Cc of your emails sent to people/media) and it will be posted to the blog . This blog is built for sharing and accumulating all our Promotion Campaigns(including emails, Media contacts, Posters, any other publicity/awareness material). So that this could be a Single point for all references to our Promotion.

Some samples have already been posted here as below: : Written to the Zee news Channel explaining about the ignominy and misery 498a victims and society in general go through Written to the Zee News in the above lines, emails like these will prompt the media to make more and more programs on Misuse of 498a.

So I urge all SIF members to send emails to the Media. You can find some Media contacts in the Blog itself( etc., apart from the file section of SIF yahoo group).

Start sending emails to Media, and copy your emails to so that it automatically gets posted on the blog(, and others can take inspiration, data and ideas from your posts. Send in your emails SOOOON.

Do email me at if you want to be a member of this blog, so that you can post/edit from Web too.
Zee news "CRIMEFILE" on misuse of law:Sunday night11PM 30th July 2006, Repeats Monday 10.30AM&4.30PM

Hi All,

Just confirmed with Delhi Zee news office that the program on Misuse of 498a and Dowry laws will be telecasted on Sunday night 11 P.M, in "Crime File" program on Zee News. This repeats on Monday morning 10.30AM and evening 4.30PM. Zee News Schedule is here: .

Earlier the bombay reporter had told(and even now!) that it will be telecasted on Saturday and repeats on Sunday(so just to be sure watch out the same timings on Saturday too, though Delhi office is sure that its on Sunday & repeated on Monday)Do send your feedback to , , , , . That is crimereporter (at) , inews (at) , anilsharma (at) , santosht (at) & crimefile (at) .......... . (replace (at) with @). If they get good viewership and feedback, they will follow-up with more programs, so send in your feedback emails and forward this message and inform all interested people you know.

Those who want to be anonymously interviewed(to which Zee didn't agree this time), or telephonically interviewed or by webcam/net, can also give their ideas and request through the emails above, or write to address below:

Address: CRIME FILE, Zee News, Essel Studio, FC-19, Sector 16-A, Noida - 201301, IndiaPhone: 91-0120- 2515399, 2511064 to 76Send e-mail for Advertising : .

Spread the news and awareness

Thursday, July 27, 2006

"Men don't cry", "Men don't ask for help when in trouble(they seldom ask for Directions for example)" these are some Stereotypes which come to mind when you think about traits of men. Some of the lesser discussed traits, but which are conditioned almost indelibly into a mans psyche 1) A man hides and tolerates abuse from wife, since if known to public, he will be seen as a sissy, a cad, a spine-less being 2) He does not discuss his domestic problems with others, he won't even be really interested in helping fellow men in domestic abuse situations, even if he is able to(since that would earn him a label of anti-woman, and he will be ostracised by feminists and possibly denied the company of beautiful Power-Babes!, and most certainly ridiculed by foul-mouthed internet stalkers).

See how Chivalry is conditioned and taught to both Men and Women right from their childhood, and how some men feel obliged to stay in abusive relationships with abusive wives/partners Article: Stephen Hawking and the burden of western chivalry . Related article: Article WORKING WITH VIOLENT WOMEN BY ERIN PIZZEY

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Message in the Bottle... to my Daughter

This is the message I am unable to give you in person, but the same would be an answer to many of your Questions.

Why did I leave you, why didnt I keep in touch with you: I was forced to keep away from you since I didn't want you to be brain-washed about me, and in the process develop wrong ideas about the world and relationships. By explaining everything in detail here, I dont want to risk the above, myself, so I will try and tell things to you in person whenever there is a chance.

Did u have an improper phase of growing-up: You just had an unusual childhood, with no father around but thats not improper- there are a lot of children growing up without fathers, and many of them have went on to have a full life. Life does not always present itself to one, as it did to another- we all have to make do with what we have, like I did, and be positive about life. When something is not there, there is always some other thing which is going for you, realise that and carry on.

Will I be happy to have you back in my life: Oh yes, by all means, I am waiting for such a time when you realise that your father is not a bad man who left his wife and kid for his selfish motives. We will find ways to be together and to catch up with lost time together. I am waiting for you to be ready to meet... do not have any doubts about that. I am waiting with a smile.

Till we meet...... my wishes are with you.

yours lovingly


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I had written to the President at , urge you to also write regarding the injustice you are facing due to Misuse of IPC 498a.

----- Original Message -----
From: Gokul
To: president
Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 11:34 AM
Subject: Misuse of IPC 498a putting Indian families in extended Turmoil

Dear Mr.President,

I hope you have some time to go through what I am submitting I am sure you have heard about the IPC section 498a, which is a section to safegaurd women against cruelty from husband and relatives.

But this gets misused mainly by women who are vengeful and wants either a ransom for letting the husband out of the false case, or to make him submit to her demands and lead life gaining power over the husband and family.

Sir, myself and many others who are just in their youth and have many dreams in life are tied up in this legal mess because of this section, which does not need any evidence other than the girls word to get the accused arrested and entangle them in the case for years and years in our slow judicial redressal system. Along with the husbands, their families are also caught in this quicksand of misused law. And in effect the law which is aimed to protect women is trapping atleast 2 women of a household on the hands of an unscrupulous, vengeful and law misusing legal terrorist. For more details about this you could refer to my complain letter to Commissioner of Police, Mumbai at: and .

Your attention to this issue and instructions to our law makers would definitely speed the ongoing amendment/repeal of this section of IPC. Do let me know of anything else which I can do to assist you in wiping this menace off, which is tying up a lot of positive energy and resources of our country.

One online community, with over 900 members all over the globe, fighting against this has some websites created and managed by volunteers:

You can read accounts of 100s of members, details of the misuse we get as SOS help requests at: . Request you to guide us to bring some sanity to the oft-misused IPC section of 498a. As you can imagine 100s of man years have already been lost on account of this misuse, and is easily a national threat if left unchecked.

Warm Regards

P.R.Gokul ,
, Chat IDs 1)Yahoo: 2)
Tele/Fax : +91 22 25614188(Bombay, Res), +91 9821414336
Join SIF Mumbai Chapter:
24-hour All India Helpline Number:91-09243473794
Volunteer Helpline Numbers
Delhi : 9871734980, 9810611534, 9911119113
Chandigarh: 9888562582
Bangalore : 80-55334135
Mumbai : 9224335577
Jaipur : 09352562456

Friday, March 24, 2006

This is one movement which had caught my attention, I hope they fulfill what they set out to do... This came as an email to me, and I felt that they should be given some mindshare, after all this seems to be a time of public awareness and arising......


IITians completing master degrees, that all the present politicians cannot even think to make together, decided to rinse the filthy and foul elementsof the system to make our India a Jagadguru (ruler of the world). Theirbrilliance, patriotism and sacrifice are unusual and very remarkable. They callthemselves PARITRANA (pretty uncommon name), means complete relief implying theend of the very cause of distress, that’s what they think will do for everycitizen of India.

All those IITians been suspected in any possible way people can think, ratherthan applauding their super intelligent brain, that they are renowned in wholeworld for. They sacrificed their multimillion dollar jobs and comfortable lifeonly to make the system of our India super strong. They personally hatecorruption, illiteracy, opaqueness, partiality based on religion and so all thefouls that we all detest that our country needs. They dream a revolution ofpatriot youth government, which will change the whole system of India to gettransparent, corruption free and super advanced India, and so we all dream. PARITRANAthe Political party for the Bharat of the 21st century.

This mail is a part of the online campaigning started by prospective members ofPARITRANA contacted by the PARITRANA leaders, towards gaining support forPARITRANA in each and every city .To know more about this party go throughtthe following links and blogs.Please dont treat this mail as just anotherforward.This is an endeavour towards gathering momentum for PARITRANA by havingthis mail read by every IT professionals ,college goer and college passedout,students pursuing their diploma,etc.Currently what is needed is that weestablish a popularity base as broad as possible among the elite learnedcommunity and then concentratrate on the grassroots section of the society. Thefollowing are the links

Since , one of the leader of “PARITRANA” Mr. Santhanagopalan Vasudev is goingto contest in one of the Chennai Constituency , Myself and other patrioticfriends from Chennai are joining our hands with him to face the election ..Ikindly request you people to join yahoo groups called “paritranaites” which wascreated by us with help of party leaders .. So, please join with us to make a great India ...The link for yahoo groups ishere ,join in this group and shoot up your views , ideas and suggestions...
Please join this group with your yahoo id ..

OTHER LINKS (The interview with Chandrasekhar,National Treasurer of Paritrana ) ( THE TIMES OF INDIA article on Paritrana) ( Indian Express article on Paritrana) ( The official website for PARITRANA politicalparty) (For joiningPARITRANA visit this link.)

By getting this mail you hold the responsibility towards forwarding the mail to all your known friends collegemates,juniors somehow or the othereither by sending a mail to the college groups or individually.Remember thatthis is just one of the many ways of helping PARITRANA. Let carry out these actions with intense fervourand aggression fueled by the retribution we thought of having on this corruptpolitical system.For charging up let us recall just a few instances when welost our temper---murder of the IIT graduate Satyendra Dubey , IIM graduateManjunath who were all victims of this corrupt political system for the onlyreason that they carry out their duties in a sincere manner ,the acceptanceof bribe by the lard laden politicans for raising questions in the parliamentstowards taking a break from the usual routine of warming up the seats in theparliament etc.... The choice is yours as to whether you want to helpthose PARITRANA leaders assume the sceptre at the earliest or you want towitness the damn politicians playing the zero sum game forever.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Some work it is... ahead+ Pic Blast from the Past

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Here are some pictures from the PHSS Seminar Nasik which was held on 15th January 2006. I would like to share my state of mind with respect to our fight against 498a as below. This is an excerpt of my email to my comarades in this fight:


I personally feel that as of now we can share successful strategies in individual cases, and try to replicate that everywhere(using the same 498a and IPC on an "as is, where is" basis)
This where the importance of the the Book of Knowledge(BOK) comes, this concept(Expert system to fight 498a) was discussed in the Forums: . Do post your views in there so that we can start to build the BOK or expert system.
Since to change the 498a law is an altogether different ball game, which I would think  of as a very meek chance since vested interest would like to keep the law the same as it is, vote banks & merceneries like women organisations(they dont brandish real women issues, they only uphold saleable issues which get them funding, again from vested interests) are the reason. So that would be secondary and at ease, primary focuse being development and replication of successful strategies and promotion strategies. I am ccing this to SIF core for some synergistic discussions/
I will be off air from 21st feb again for a month so, please do keep this in mind.
As bharathi and I was discussing its high time that we have an All india meet in Mumbai(or Delhi) to forge some concrete action plans(we need to discuss those on email and bring it to some shape , before we meet in person- for better effectiveness).
GokulPS: I feel that by now we must have got enough forms filled , to run some statistical analysis. or design some questionnaires suitable for running Factor analysis, cluster analysis and other statistical tests, which can be the first steps to establish some scientific basis for the "need for change".


I am also uploading some more photos from the PHSS seminar and 2 snaps of India's first fully 498a'ed village which we found enroute to Nasik while travelling towards the Seminar venue, courtsey of this find goeas to Vinod Patil whose wife is from this village, as per him the girls of this village are all back from their marital homes after firing 498a Scuds on their husbands families, in hope to live happily thereafter!. What is this world coming to!. 


But lets not sit quiet and suck it up, lets do all thats in our rights to do, if needed all whats not too!, if it comes to that.

Cruising later Deep

Monday, January 16, 2006

Am I coward ?

my knees have circular scar frmbeing scrubbed with foot pad
I have a sambhar burn on face
I have a two stitches on my thigh
Yet I had to face the threat of being in Jail as an aggressor rather then vicitm
People either laugh and sympatheise but nobody says I shuld get justice only becuase I happen to be a male !
Am I a coward not to complain or iss it just the mistrust society ?

I care too hoots for laughter I bother needless about sympathy but I want Justice .
Will I get it ?

A victim

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Cowardice asks...."Is it safe?" Expedience asks...."Is it politic?" Vanity asks...."Is it popular?" There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right: Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yes, its time to take a Stand the right one, even if it costs you, even if you need not, even if you aren't obliged to do so.......

We are just back from Nasik 498a Seminar(held at IMA Hall, Shalimar Chowk), it was good and we got a lot of contacts of PHSS members all over maharashtra. With PHSS's ground level activism and contacts we can leverage our promotion & effectiveness better, we have in fact discussed how we can conduct seminars and other promotional activities in Bombay with their contacts and 498a luminaries.

The notable PHSS member's in Mumbai are 1) Mr.Bhimrao Budhivant, Secretary, Mumbai: Tel(R): 022 55847025, Mobile: 9820441832/31, 2) Adv.Anamika Vichare, Legal Advisor Tel: 022 25783986, 25783781, 55833567, 9324317408, 9869470238, 3)Mr.Sunil D.Mungi, President, Mumbai, Tel(R) 022 25911798 4) Adv.Dharmendra Chavan, General Secretary, Tel 0253 2501666. 5) Mr.Vijay Khobragade, Sthree Atyachar Peedith Purush Vikas Sanstha, Nagpur, Tel: 09422809293.

We will conduct a contact program in Mumbai soon, so I would warn the offenders to take note that backtrack, when theres still time. We don't take it lying down, and we mean what we say- if you don't wanna stay in the marriage just leave peacefully, else we are gonna get you so bad, that you gonna beg for mercy at the end(how muchever time it takes to get you to that state).

Cruising Deeper soon, deeper underground

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Subject: Narcissistic Community of Women (This summation is based on a book called Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin, PhD.). Submitted to SIF Yahoo group by : Friend Friend. This would explain the genesis of the Award winning article(The Dark Side of NRI Marriages: Husbands Fall Victim to Dowry-Immigration Fraud) by Lisa Tsering blogged at

Original post of this article at:

The Narcissistic Community of Women (NCW)

The Narcissistic Community of Women (NCW) is comprised of women who are pathological liars. In a way they are sadists; they use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against the weak among the women, the elderly and even young children. When the narcissistic woman’s glamour and trickery wears thin, underneath lurks a monster, which sucks the affect, distorts the cognition and irreversibly influences the lives of those around it to the worse. The narcissistic woman has no time/energy for anything except the next narcissistic fix, no matter what the price and who is trampled on. Depending on who is involved, the narcissistic women behave differently. They will not be enraged by the behavior of an important person, but will become absolutely malevolent with their own husband and in-laws under the same circumstances. For the narcissistic women, humans are dispensable/ re-usable.

The narcissist is judgmental (with no merit) is above reproach and is above any law, social or other (threatens her grandiosity). If ignored, feels empty, humiliated, wrathful, discriminated against, neglected and feels that she is compromising, sooner or later, the narcissistic woman
will plot, conspire and do what ever is necessary to regain lost ground, recognizes no borders and no other people except those who are able to provide her narcissistic supply sources. To cause someone to have sex with her is a powerful feeling for the narcissistic woman. It leads to
a quick succession of narcissistic supply sources.

The narcissistic woman is unable to simulate emotions (only able to feign emotions), is devious and is very convincing. Gradually, the narcissistic woman distorts the personalities of those she is in constant touch with (e.g. colleagues, workers, professionals, etc.). Casts them in her deficient mold, limits them, redirects them and inhibits them. She drives the mate/spouse, colleagues/workers, professionals and even children into collaborating and induces them to criminal and romantic impulses. The narcissistic women are charmers, persuaders and gifted
actors. Many such women belong to the socio-economically privileged classes and find scapegoats or co-conspirators very easily and get away because of society (being able to have the rules bent for them, etc.). The facilitators once compromised, continue collaborating to hide their own dishonesty.

Narcissistic women are enamored of status symbols (big houses, expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, successful spouses, private schools for kids, etc.). The narcissism and religion may go well together, because it allows the narcissistic woman to feel unique and believe that they have
a “direct line to God.” She baits authority and challenges (e.g. false complaints, not complying with court/custody/visitation orders etc.). She fears air-travel, ‘Narcissistic confinement’. A Narcissistic woman may flaunt and exploit physical charms (may claim false modesty and yet
may reveal herself as a possible “whore”). She may cast herself in the role of the eternal victim. For the narcissistic woman, to be abandoned (e.g. an impending divorce) means to be judged in her totality. Even though the narcissistic woman, works towards the disintegration of the
relationship, “Desertion is emotional annihilation of the narcissistic woman” and consequently feels annulled, rendered transparent, abused, exploited and objectified.

The narcissistic woman is born into a dysfunctional family (affective dysfunction and massive denials) with several personality disorders, constant aggression and violence/abuse (verbal/psychological/physical and sexual). The narcissistic woman has 2 masks, the first, the “false self” and the second, as a “vulnerable child like person (and subject to protection) who is a genius (therefore worthy of special treatment).” The narcissistic woman makes absurd accusations, distorts facts, pronounces allegations, and motivated by the fear of abandonment will demean herself to the point of provoking repulsion in the beholder.

When confronted by a crisis (e.g. impending divorce): Blinded by pain, the married narcissistic woman turns to and upon those nearest to her (husband and in-laws) – in fear – embarks on an orgy of self destruction intended to generate attention at any cost. Traumatizes the spouse, does not hesitate to lie, fabricate, deceive or “expose” (misleading) half-truths. Is a star among the ranks of crooks, villains and con artists? May maliciously and intentionally shower bad intentions on some victims (e.g. estranged spouse) and sadistically forces them to pay a heavy toll, materially, in reputation and emotionally. Engages in acts, which puts husband and in-laws in the line of punishment, hurts people, breaks the law or violates morality(A True "Family Terrorist"). May return to an old haunt (defunct pathological narcissistic space) e.g. an ex-mate, if she can no longer inhabit the current pathological narcissistic space.

Suddenly, because of boredom, an act or a mood (it does not have to be grounded in reality), the narcissistic woman swings from idealization to devaluation and the mate/spouse who is still a major source of narcissistic supply (to be punished for not being docile/obedient) is subjected to acts of sadism “I inflict pain, therefore I am superior.”

The narcissistic woman invades the victim’s territory (e.g. job), abuses confidence, exhausts resources, hurts her husband’s loved ones, humiliates and insults privately and in public. Actions and reactions are determined by input from outside (e.g. parent narcissist/friend who has acquired similar traits/support groups, etc.). Calls the Police because they represent the law and what is right (represents her rigid parents), to suppress the unruly behavior, of her own narcissistic disorder, (blamed on the victim). The rigid parents (often narcissists themselves)
reward and punish arbitrarily, abandon, smother with ill regulated emotions, instill a rigid, sadistic super-ego, (but will even help cover up murder by their emotionally crippled child-adult) and are a secondary narcissistic supply source.

The narcissistic child represents the dysfunctional family (with mood disorders, abuse, Cluster B personality disorders, etc.). “Life is a Movie,” gaining control by “writing a scenario” or by “inventing a narrative” is commonplace for the narcissistic woman. Emits a narcissistic signal (reaches out to ex-mates) then receives a host of narcissistic stimuli (messages from people willing to collaborate in providing the narcissistic supply), rates these stimuli and those with the highest rating is selected, then over valued. Feels magically rewarded, re-awakened. The Narcissist has no genuine emotions, can be in love with the narcissistic supply source because the person is famous/has money/power/comes from the right family/ is a Citizen of a foreign country (whereas the narcissist is a potential immigrant and needs sponsorship).

To impress a group of people (e.g. support groups) the narcissist will identify with their goals and beliefs to the point of ridicule. The narcissist is always the most fanatical, extreme and the most dangerous (at stake is her own survival). Having learned to manipulate their human environment to a masterly extent, they believe they will always “get away with it” and “punishment is for ordinary people.” Once the group is no longer instrumental, the narcissistic woman devalues it, ignores it and in extreme cases destroys it (as punishment for its incompetence at securing her narcissistic supply).

When confronted with her own off-springs, the narcissistic woman at first perceives them as a threat to her narcissistic supply sources and may attempt to hurt them. If this proves to be in effective, subjects them to emotional absence and detachment, and directs transformed anger at the spouse (starting soon after the delivery).

Some manipulate their spouse by “taking over” the child (Annexation and Assimilation) and use it as a source of narcissistic supply. The mother can cast herself in the role of the eternal victim, who has dedicated her life to the child (implicit proviso of reciprocity) and may treat the child as an extension of the Mother, or she may create a situation of the Mother and child “united against external threats” (having already destroyed the Father).

If the offspring starts becoming judgmental (as he/she gets older), then he/she is perceived as a threat and is rejected to get what the narcissistic woman finally wants “disintegration.” Contempt, rage, emotional and psychological abuse and even physical violence occur if the
narcissistic woman is disenchanted with her child – narcissism breeds’ narcissism. If the mother herself is the narcissist type, the growth prospects of the child are indeed dim.

Other personality disorders may be inter-related: (Cluster B Disorders – e.g. Narcissistic, Borderline and Antisocial).

In stressful situations, they will try to pre-empt a (real/imaginary) threat, introduce new variables or otherwise influence the external world (cajole, bribery, threaten, fabricate, etc.) to conform to their needs.

Borderline Personality Disorder patients may experience brief psychotic “micro-episodes.” It is a case of a failed narcissistic solution and may lead to self-mutilation. The Anti-Social Personality may in addition exhibit internalized and transformed aggression directed at a self-perceived inadequate worthy of nothing but elimination. The Cluster B Personality Disorders may overlap and during a crisis may exhibit features of the other. Personality Disorders are more common in people with breast augmentation (as per some researchers).

To stop a narcissist Do not adore, approve, applaud or confirm anything that the narcissistic woman says. Receiving special treatment (from lawyers, psychologists, courts, support groups, etc.) will only exacerbate the condition by supporting the grandiose, fantastic image the narcissistic woman has of herself. Force the narcissistic woman to admit that she is absolutely wrong and in need of professional help. Get them to commit to therapy.

Get the narcissistic woman to confront (during therapy) a real version of herself. (A good friend/spouse/therapist/parent or all can help). Set up rigid, strict and well-defined rules. Clear and painful sanctions must be applied religiously and mercilessly, set in writing in unequivocal language. Get the narcissistic woman to confront the narcissist parent. Penalize the criminal acts.

(This summation is based on a book called Malignant Self Love –
Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin, PhD.) . Submitted to SIF Yahoo group by : Friend Friend

Is this the reason why we have a growing Creed of "Doosri Radhas", like former Inspector General Mr.D.K.Panda, so much so that NCW itself is to inquire into dowry harassment claims against D K .

Cruiser, Deeper soon

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I had posted the below petition at the sites mentioned below. I appeal to you all to post your complaints about 498a and its injustice-misuse at (also paste the same at ). We need to Propogate the support we have got from the Supreme Court to the other law enforcing agencies too....
************** My Petition to Commissioner of Police*********

B-102, Matoshrikripa C.H.S, Bhandup(east), Mumbai-400042
Tele/Fax : +91 22 25614188(Bombay, Res), +91 9821414336


The Commissioner of Police, Mumbai
(and Other personnel in I.P.S)

Subject : Misuse of IPC section 498a, resulting misery for Indian families.


This is to report rampant misuse of Anti Harassment/Cruelty(Domestic violence) laws in India(the concerned section in Indian penal code is section 498a). The potency of misuse is much since the Police doesn't need any other supporting evidence or witness other than the wife's statement/complaint, to straight away arrest the Husband and his relatives (Whoever is named in the wife's complaint), since it is a cognisable crime, following which is an ordeal of long drawn and wasteful legal proceedings for the Husband (in this law he is Guilty until proved innocent!, unlike any other law, anywhere else).

As you might be aware of this misuse yourselves, I would, on behalf of other victims of this misuse also, appeal to all police personnel to treat the complaints u/s IPC 498a with some restraint and empathy. This is in the same lines as supreme courts judgment, cited below, where SC has appealed its courts to exercise restraint till legislature finds way to deal with Makers of frivolous complaints, when S.C ruled: "Till then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing framework". The excerpt from this judgment is shown below:

The supreme court judgment(in the writ number 141 of 2005) acknowledges that there is rampant misuse of 498a. Especially when Supreme Court of India acknowledges that misuse of 498A is on the rise, and has hinted that the legislature may have to find ways to deal with misusers of 498A, terming this trend as Legal Terrorism. And implicitly directing other indian courts by saying "Till then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing framework.

The excerpt of this judgment, regarding misuse of 498a, in writ petition No.141 of 2005 of Supreme Court is reproduced below:

*************** Excerpt of the Supreme Court Judgment ***************

“The object of provision is prevention of the dowry menace. But as has been rightly contented by the petitioner, many instances have come to light where the complaints are not bonafide and have been filed with oblique motive. In such cases acquittal of the accused does not in all cases wipe out the ignominy suffered during and prior to trial. Sometimes adverse media coverage adds to the misery. The question, therefore, is what remedial measures can be taken to prevent the abuse of well-intentioned provision. Merely because the provision is constitutional and intra vires, does not give a license to unscrupulous person to wreck personal vendetta or unleash harassment. It may, therefore become necessary for the legislature to find out ways how the makers of frivolous complaints or allegations can be appropriately dealt with. Till then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing framework. As noted above the object is to strike at the roots of dowry menace. But by misuse of the provision a new legal terrorism can be unleashed. The provision is intended to be used as a shield and not as an assassin's weapon. If cry of wolf is made too often as a prank assistance and protection may not be available when the actual wolf appears. There is no question of investigation agency and courts casually dealing with the allegations. They cannot follow any straitjacket formula in the matters relating to dowry tortures, deaths and cruelty. It cannot be lost sight of that ultimate objective of every legal system is to arrive at truth, punish the guilty and protect the innocent. There is no scope for any pre-conceived notion or view. It is strenuously argued by the petitioner that the investigating agencies and courts start with the presumption that accused persons are guilty and that the complainant is speaking the truth. This is too wide available and generalized statement. Certain statutory presumptions are drawn which again are rebuttable. It is to be noted that the role of investigating agencies and the courts is that of watch dog and not of a bloodhound. It should be their effort to see that innocent person is not made to suffer on account of unfounded, baseless and malicious allegations. It is equally indisputable that in many cases no direct evidence is available and the courts have to act on circumstantial evidence while dealing with such cases, the law laid down relating to circumstantial evidence has to be kept in view.”

The above S.C ruling clearly shows that the judiciary is silently trying to do its best to avoid IPC section 498a being used as a weapon in the hands of assailants, we are sure that the Police force too will follow the same attitude towards 498a accusations, which are found to be false in more than 75% of all the reported cases.

Please also see below, the US and Canadian consular warnings for its citizens (of Indian origin mainly) with respect to this misuse of 498a.

US Consular Warning( ): Excerpt--> A number of U.S.-citizen men who have come to India to marry Indian nationals have been arrested and charged with crimes related to dowry extraction. Many of the charges stem from the U.S. citizen's inability to provide an immigrant visa for his prospective spouse to travel immediately to the United States. The courts sometimes order the U.S. citizen to pay large sums of money to his spouse in exchange for the dismissal of charges. The courts normally confiscate the American’s passport, and he must remain in India until the case has been settled. There are also cases of U.S.-citizen women of Indian descent whose families force them against their will into marriages to Indian nationals.

Canadian Consular affairs info for Canadian abroad ( ): Excerpt--> Growing numbers of Canadian citizens have been caught up in marital fraud and dowry abuse in India. Most cases involve Indo-Canadian males who abandon their wives in India after cheating them out of large sums of money. Other cases involve misuse of India’s Dowry Prohibition Act. This law, which was enacted to protect women and makes demanding a dowry a crime, is sometimes used to blackmail men through false allegations of dowry extortion. Individuals facing charges may be forced to remain in India until their cases have been settled or pay off their spouses in exchange for the dismissal of charges. To avoid such problems, you are advised to register your marriage in India along with a joint declaration of gifts exchanged, as well as consider a prenuptial agreement

Sowry Harassment is what is in vogue now:
Sowry Harassment - The New Bane of Indian Society

Sowry Harassment Weblinks:

In fact we are organised as a group in internet and we have over 460 members-victims in india and abroad.

To know more please visit, & . This is causing Havoc in Indian expatriates working in other countries like USA too.

Warm Regards

P.R.Gokul ,