Subject: Narcissistic Community of Women (This summation is based on a book called Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin, PhD.). Submitted to SIF Yahoo group by : Friend Friend. This would explain the genesis of the Award winning article(The Dark Side of NRI Marriages: Husbands Fall Victim to Dowry-Immigration Fraud) by Lisa Tsering blogged at http://www.498a.org/blog/?p=27

Original post of this article at:
1) http://news.asianweek.com/news/view_article.html?
2) http://www.imdiversity.com/villages/asian/politics_law/pns_indian_dowry_0105.asp
3) http://misuse498a.tripod.com/Tsering.htm
4)http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=2d3a3e8726139933addb1da248ca7e81
5)http://news.pacificnews.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=2d3a3e8726139933addb1da248ca7e81
6)http://www.nriinternet.com/Marriages/Dowry/Innocent/2005/1_Victim%20To%20Dowr.htm
7)http://jobs.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=768649893bc5975ce97b6bff5354c210
8) http://www.silkfraud.com/immigrationfraud/

The Narcissistic Community of Women (NCW)

The Narcissistic Community of Women (NCW) is comprised of women who are pathological liars. In a way they are sadists; they use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against the weak among the women, the elderly and even young children. When the narcissistic woman’s glamour and trickery wears thin, underneath lurks a monster, which sucks the affect, distorts the cognition and irreversibly influences the lives of those around it to the worse. The narcissistic woman has no time/energy for anything except the next narcissistic fix, no matter what the price and who is trampled on. Depending on who is involved, the narcissistic women behave differently. They will not be enraged by the behavior of an important person, but will become absolutely malevolent with their own husband and in-laws under the same circumstances. For the narcissistic women, humans are dispensable/ re-usable.

The narcissist is judgmental (with no merit) is above reproach and is above any law, social or other (threatens her grandiosity). If ignored, feels empty, humiliated, wrathful, discriminated against, neglected and feels that she is compromising, sooner or later, the narcissistic woman
will plot, conspire and do what ever is necessary to regain lost ground, recognizes no borders and no other people except those who are able to provide her narcissistic supply sources. To cause someone to have sex with her is a powerful feeling for the narcissistic woman. It leads to
a quick succession of narcissistic supply sources.

The narcissistic woman is unable to simulate emotions (only able to feign emotions), is devious and is very convincing. Gradually, the narcissistic woman distorts the personalities of those she is in constant touch with (e.g. colleagues, workers, professionals, etc.). Casts them in her deficient mold, limits them, redirects them and inhibits them. She drives the mate/spouse, colleagues/workers, professionals and even children into collaborating and induces them to criminal and romantic impulses. The narcissistic women are charmers, persuaders and gifted
actors. Many such women belong to the socio-economically privileged classes and find scapegoats or co-conspirators very easily and get away because of society (being able to have the rules bent for them, etc.). The facilitators once compromised, continue collaborating to hide their own dishonesty.

Narcissistic women are enamored of status symbols (big houses, expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, successful spouses, private schools for kids, etc.). The narcissism and religion may go well together, because it allows the narcissistic woman to feel unique and believe that they have
a “direct line to God.” She baits authority and challenges (e.g. false complaints, not complying with court/custody/visitation orders etc.). She fears air-travel, ‘Narcissistic confinement’. A Narcissistic woman may flaunt and exploit physical charms (may claim false modesty and yet
may reveal herself as a possible “whore”). She may cast herself in the role of the eternal victim. For the narcissistic woman, to be abandoned (e.g. an impending divorce) means to be judged in her totality. Even though the narcissistic woman, works towards the disintegration of the
relationship, “Desertion is emotional annihilation of the narcissistic woman” and consequently feels annulled, rendered transparent, abused, exploited and objectified.

The narcissistic woman is born into a dysfunctional family (affective dysfunction and massive denials) with several personality disorders, constant aggression and violence/abuse (verbal/psychological/physical and sexual). The narcissistic woman has 2 masks, the first, the “false self” and the second, as a “vulnerable child like person (and subject to protection) who is a genius (therefore worthy of special treatment).” The narcissistic woman makes absurd accusations, distorts facts, pronounces allegations, and motivated by the fear of abandonment will demean herself to the point of provoking repulsion in the beholder.

When confronted by a crisis (e.g. impending divorce): Blinded by pain, the married narcissistic woman turns to and upon those nearest to her (husband and in-laws) – in fear – embarks on an orgy of self destruction intended to generate attention at any cost. Traumatizes the spouse, does not hesitate to lie, fabricate, deceive or “expose” (misleading) half-truths. Is a star among the ranks of crooks, villains and con artists? May maliciously and intentionally shower bad intentions on some victims (e.g. estranged spouse) and sadistically forces them to pay a heavy toll, materially, in reputation and emotionally. Engages in acts, which puts husband and in-laws in the line of punishment, hurts people, breaks the law or violates morality(A True "Family Terrorist"). May return to an old haunt (defunct pathological narcissistic space) e.g. an ex-mate, if she can no longer inhabit the current pathological narcissistic space.

Suddenly, because of boredom, an act or a mood (it does not have to be grounded in reality), the narcissistic woman swings from idealization to devaluation and the mate/spouse who is still a major source of narcissistic supply (to be punished for not being docile/obedient) is subjected to acts of sadism “I inflict pain, therefore I am superior.”

The narcissistic woman invades the victim’s territory (e.g. job), abuses confidence, exhausts resources, hurts her husband’s loved ones, humiliates and insults privately and in public. Actions and reactions are determined by input from outside (e.g. parent narcissist/friend who has acquired similar traits/support groups, etc.). Calls the Police because they represent the law and what is right (represents her rigid parents), to suppress the unruly behavior, of her own narcissistic disorder, (blamed on the victim). The rigid parents (often narcissists themselves)
reward and punish arbitrarily, abandon, smother with ill regulated emotions, instill a rigid, sadistic super-ego, (but will even help cover up murder by their emotionally crippled child-adult) and are a secondary narcissistic supply source.

The narcissistic child represents the dysfunctional family (with mood disorders, abuse, Cluster B personality disorders, etc.). “Life is a Movie,” gaining control by “writing a scenario” or by “inventing a narrative” is commonplace for the narcissistic woman. Emits a narcissistic signal (reaches out to ex-mates) then receives a host of narcissistic stimuli (messages from people willing to collaborate in providing the narcissistic supply), rates these stimuli and those with the highest rating is selected, then over valued. Feels magically rewarded, re-awakened. The Narcissist has no genuine emotions, can be in love with the narcissistic supply source because the person is famous/has money/power/comes from the right family/ is a Citizen of a foreign country (whereas the narcissist is a potential immigrant and needs sponsorship).

To impress a group of people (e.g. support groups) the narcissist will identify with their goals and beliefs to the point of ridicule. The narcissist is always the most fanatical, extreme and the most dangerous (at stake is her own survival). Having learned to manipulate their human environment to a masterly extent, they believe they will always “get away with it” and “punishment is for ordinary people.” Once the group is no longer instrumental, the narcissistic woman devalues it, ignores it and in extreme cases destroys it (as punishment for its incompetence at securing her narcissistic supply).

When confronted with her own off-springs, the narcissistic woman at first perceives them as a threat to her narcissistic supply sources and may attempt to hurt them. If this proves to be in effective, subjects them to emotional absence and detachment, and directs transformed anger at the spouse (starting soon after the delivery).

Some manipulate their spouse by “taking over” the child (Annexation and Assimilation) and use it as a source of narcissistic supply. The mother can cast herself in the role of the eternal victim, who has dedicated her life to the child (implicit proviso of reciprocity) and may treat the child as an extension of the Mother, or she may create a situation of the Mother and child “united against external threats” (having already destroyed the Father).

If the offspring starts becoming judgmental (as he/she gets older), then he/she is perceived as a threat and is rejected to get what the narcissistic woman finally wants “disintegration.” Contempt, rage, emotional and psychological abuse and even physical violence occur if the
narcissistic woman is disenchanted with her child – narcissism breeds’ narcissism. If the mother herself is the narcissist type, the growth prospects of the child are indeed dim.

Other personality disorders may be inter-related: (Cluster B Disorders – e.g. Narcissistic, Borderline and Antisocial).

In stressful situations, they will try to pre-empt a (real/imaginary) threat, introduce new variables or otherwise influence the external world (cajole, bribery, threaten, fabricate, etc.) to conform to their needs.

Borderline Personality Disorder patients may experience brief psychotic “micro-episodes.” It is a case of a failed narcissistic solution and may lead to self-mutilation. The Anti-Social Personality may in addition exhibit internalized and transformed aggression directed at a self-perceived inadequate worthy of nothing but elimination. The Cluster B Personality Disorders may overlap and during a crisis may exhibit features of the other. Personality Disorders are more common in people with breast augmentation (as per some researchers).

To stop a narcissist Do not adore, approve, applaud or confirm anything that the narcissistic woman says. Receiving special treatment (from lawyers, psychologists, courts, support groups, etc.) will only exacerbate the condition by supporting the grandiose, fantastic image the narcissistic woman has of herself. Force the narcissistic woman to admit that she is absolutely wrong and in need of professional help. Get them to commit to therapy.

Get the narcissistic woman to confront (during therapy) a real version of herself. (A good friend/spouse/therapist/parent or all can help). Set up rigid, strict and well-defined rules. Clear and painful sanctions must be applied religiously and mercilessly, set in writing in unequivocal language. Get the narcissistic woman to confront the narcissist parent. Penalize the criminal acts.

(This summation is based on a book called Malignant Self Love –
Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin, PhD.) . Submitted to SIF Yahoo group by : Friend Friend

Is this the reason why we have a growing Creed of "Doosri Radhas", like former Inspector General Mr.D.K.Panda, so much so that NCW itself is to inquire into dowry harassment claims against D K .

Regards
Cruiser, Deeper soon