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Friday, September 23, 2005

We had a debate in the yahoo of SIF, as to why an issue snowballs to the invoking of a 498a(false or half-true- where in the girls intention is not getting a ransom amount, but to get even for some reason). Genuine cases also happens, that’s my next story being posted soon, its going to be interesting, it really shook-me up too, do wait for that post.

Some victims said its because the girls are advised by parents or advocates (when she starts staying away from her husband, due to some fights(initial, no very serious in nature) to put a false case(Accusing attempts to murder, demand of dowry etc., whichs just put to complete the 'requirements/ingredients' of a 498a offense). Like in a situation similar to Deep and Meeth ( my earlier post).

But some feel that girls are provoked since boys expect a certain level of submissiveness, which they have been conditioned to expect out of wife!. I quote the words of a friend in verbatim "I feel that we
Indian males implicitly believe in our inherent superiority over females, and then unknowingly act in
a manner which may be insulting to them. Then when our spouses react to that, we feel infuriated because
we've been spoonfed since childhood that a good wife never shouts back at her husband or in-laws. So, we
try to suppress her which further complicates the matters.”

I personally think of the following trends/causes, as the main reasons of rifts and then deterioration to 498a levels.
1) Parental Influence(parents(especially Indian) seems to have a reason to be worried in the initial stages of marriage, and hence be liable to wrong panic triggers, which only helps to further roughen the situation- with each side defending their own forts, come what may!)
2) Advice of legally half-baked confidants, that 498a is the panacea for ego-gratification and settling scores(simple miya-biwi jagada’s!- small tiff’s between the man and wife)
3) Wrong values and upbringing(not respecting women or men, as is needed in a society, let alone as a couple)
4) Ego , Complexes, Vindictiveness
5) Lack of self-confidence, hence leading way to comparisons and external-orientation
6) Viewing a partner as a commodity to be owned, and who had no right or duties of themselves
7) Extra marital affairs
8) Greed, Avarice & Lust

Would like more inputs and counters in this regard, so that we can arrive at some level of awareness using this brainstorming.


1 comment:

Swarup said...

Good writer , hope some honest people will come out and make the necessary correction , as this is a blander mistake had been done by our law maker , but they dont want to accept the same .

498A a blood cancer and a Family killer.

Good luck to your fight