The Great Indian Gender Dilemma: How Can a Wife press false charges on her Husband(Pathi Parameshwar- as considered in India)
Many times during my interactions with my readers(blogs and homepage depicting different fronts of legal misuse by wives), I find them awe-struck, dumb-found, bewildered if not down right suspicious or skeptical. They inform me that they cannot believe in their wildest imagination that an Indian wife(stereotypically considered to be the personification of Mother Earth- who tolerates and forgives any indolence and injustice towards her) can inflict acute harm to her marital family this way. They ask me; leave alone framing false charges and cases, they can't even think of women who would actually enjoy the hapless(that's what those Lady Macbeths hope their husbands would be reduced to, in face of false 498a cases against them) husbands being sent to Jail or hiding from law till bail is arranged.
I have also thought about my wife this way, in dismay, initially when she filed the charges which were down right false and crass to the core(she accused me of trying to set my baby girl on fire!, may be its lawyers craft, but ultimately its her who approved and signed these representations to the court). As time went by I realised that there are some people who can just blank out any soft emotions that may be left in them towards a soul-mate, when ego and aggression takes over and when hormones run riot, and as predatory instincts kicks in and rules the roost, throughout further ahead during the entire legal battle(or proxy war, since the girl is using the entire government machinery against the husband).
So why do some unscrupulous wives misuse the law (IPC 498a)Â….
Firstly to harass the husband, and may be to for monetary gains. One may wonder as to where exactly is the harassment when only 2% is usually convicted in case 498a cases in total. The point here is that the Indian legal process itself is a punishment in itself, especially when it lingers on aimlessly for 5-10 years!, after the harsh period of police investigations ( institutionalised blackmail to be frank).
The Indian legal system is a harassment in itself to the general public, though we are trying to see courts as our 'parks' and litigation as 'small talk', so that we ourselves do not fall into the self-destructive vortex as the wasteful trials and adjournments and other self-defeating legal processes stretch out, without any sign of closure- while life is kept in abeyance (can't restart a family, can't relocate easily, can't be free from time waste, etc.)
How can a lot of wives use badly 498a law? When it's a fact that misusing wives will lose cases anyway
Since there is no legal repercussions if wife is found to be fabricating a false 498a charge, wives use this almost by default even if they want a divorce for some other reason(other than harassment, cruelty or because of the husband demanding dowry). And even if they lose the case, thereÂ’s nothing for them to actually lose, as she gets a lawyer from the state (public prosecutor), she doesn't have to appear other than for her statements during trail (2-3 sessions, as opposed to the innumerable court sessions through which the accused husband & family has to go through, over the 5 to 10 years when the case is live). This no-lose situation is what makes the law-misusing wife confident of inflicting damages to her husband, by misusing Indian legal system, without any harm to her whatsoever.
Moreover in this particular criminal section of 498a, the accused is considered Guilty until proven innocent (the onus of proof is on the accused, since he is considered guilty right from the start), while in all other criminal cases, be it murder (in almost all the countries in the world) the accused is considered innocent until proven Guilty (so that the law can ensure even if hundreds of Guilty escapes/acquitted, no innocent should be punished/convicted).
So here is the case of the missing link in Evolution..... when Homo Erectus evolved to Homo Sapien(Man as known today) some section remained part Homo eructus, retaining the extreme predatory instincts of destroying whatever is objectionable.... that section of women are our modern "498a Girls". They have traded-in flower power for Fire-power, extreme need for speed indeed!.
Can't believe it......... Believe it
Cruising Deeper soon
Join SIF yahoogroup, get answers....
"
Friday, December 23, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
The following news came in the Bloggers park section of Mumbai Mirror. Its a prediction that Save Indian Family site had made some days back. But I am not sure what kinda situation IG Radha has got into(may be he is a crook genuinely!, but may be he has thought of all this as a shrewd escape mechanism from false implication in a Harassment case by his wife- anyway we need to investigate before we get judgemental).
But nice prediction that 498a is on the way for I.G Radha, since now a days its just a logical next for any girl in distress or a girl in greed, this false 498a is the thing which is brandished about as the ultimate panacea for girls in 'any' kind of distress or self-made plight.
Save Indian Family had predicted that IG Panda (Doosri Radha) can face a false dowry harassment case(original link at): http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/mmpaper.asp?sectid=14&articleid=1216200522535693712162005225226937
Bloggers’ park
Doosri radha (what could be behind IPS Panda’s plight?)
• Save Indian Family had predicted that IG Panda (Doosri Radha) can face a false dowry harassment case. It has come true. ...She already got an order maintenance of Rs7000. Now she wants the house as well under the threat of 498a. ...Still, the whole nation laughs at this poor man! It may be possible that Panda must have been facing harassment from his wife for a long time and that must have affected him psychologically.
• harassed? Taking 50 per cent of husband’s property is actually cruelty towards the husband as he has toiled his entire life to earn this money, which these Surpanakhas are openly and shamelessly demanding by force.http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/12/14/doosri-radha-in498a/
• One doesn’t know whether to sympathise with ...or condemn his conduct for bringing disgrace to the office of Inspector General of Police. Sympathise, because the man seems to have lost his sanity... and condemn, since his conduct has brought disrepute to the entire police set-up of the state....But what has happened to Panda didn’t come about overnight. Although it remains a matter of conjecture as to what factors are to blame for his present state, one thing is for sure that both officialdom and other authorities concerned feigned ignorance and were negligent for quite some time about the whole affair.http://www.indiadaily.org/entry/whos-more-insane-ips-office-turned-radha-or-system/
But nice prediction that 498a is on the way for I.G Radha, since now a days its just a logical next for any girl in distress or a girl in greed, this false 498a is the thing which is brandished about as the ultimate panacea for girls in 'any' kind of distress or self-made plight.
Save Indian Family had predicted that IG Panda (Doosri Radha) can face a false dowry harassment case(original link at): http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/mmpaper.asp?sectid=14&articleid=1216200522535693712162005225226937
Bloggers’ park
Doosri radha (what could be behind IPS Panda’s plight?)
• Save Indian Family had predicted that IG Panda (Doosri Radha) can face a false dowry harassment case. It has come true. ...She already got an order maintenance of Rs7000. Now she wants the house as well under the threat of 498a. ...Still, the whole nation laughs at this poor man! It may be possible that Panda must have been facing harassment from his wife for a long time and that must have affected him psychologically.
• harassed? Taking 50 per cent of husband’s property is actually cruelty towards the husband as he has toiled his entire life to earn this money, which these Surpanakhas are openly and shamelessly demanding by force.http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/12/14/doosri-radha-in498a/
• One doesn’t know whether to sympathise with ...or condemn his conduct for bringing disgrace to the office of Inspector General of Police. Sympathise, because the man seems to have lost his sanity... and condemn, since his conduct has brought disrepute to the entire police set-up of the state....But what has happened to Panda didn’t come about overnight. Although it remains a matter of conjecture as to what factors are to blame for his present state, one thing is for sure that both officialdom and other authorities concerned feigned ignorance and were negligent for quite some time about the whole affair.http://www.indiadaily.org/entry/whos-more-insane-ips-office-turned-radha-or-system/
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Divorce test(courtsey: http://www.kpho.com/Global/story.asp?S=4180365&nav=23Ku )
Divorce isn't the dirty word it once was... In fact, nearly half of all first marriages now end in divorce. We hope it doesn't happen to us, but it takes more than hope.
One valley marriage counselor who came up with a divorce test you can take right now- to measure the strength of your marriage.
Larry and Ceil Toschik met the day before he shipped out to serve in World War II. “I asked if I could write to her," Larry says. Ceil remembers that meeting with a fond smile, “He was young and he was good looking.” And so their courtship began. For three years they exchanged letters, soon after, they exchanged vows. Nearly 60 years later…“There were times i loved him but i hated what was going on!” Ceil said.
Larry traded his army green for an artist’s brush. "I had an outdoor job- and over our first 20 or 30 years of marriage, she was not an outdoor woman at all!” he said. So, there were a couple decades that weren't picture perfect, but they overcame their differences; working away from home, raising 4 children, losing a son in Vietnam.
Licensed marriage & family therapist, Renee Cunningham says, “There's this myth that it doesn't take work to be happy.” Cunningham came up with five simple questions she says every couple should answer to test if their marriage is on solid ground.
1) Do you resolve conflict in your marriage? a) always b) sometimes c) never "It isn't easy- but it can be done!" Ceil said.
2) Do you trust your partner? a) always b) sometimes c) never Larry joked, “She trusted me when she had little reason to trust me, because i had a roving eye.”
Cunningham says to look for signs, “Turning away from your partner, not listening to your partner, fighting frequently, those are about not trusting.”
3) Are you able to maintain your own personal identity in your marriage? a) always b) sometimes c) never “You have to have your own life. If you don't, you're dead in the water,” warns Cunningham.
4) Do you take responsibility-- particularly where problems are concerned? a) always b) sometimes c) never “So what if they ‘win’ for a day, two days, a month?” Cunningham asks, “You gain relationship.”
5) Are you able to communicate your needs and concerns to your partner? a) always b) sometimes c) never “Are your needs being met in the bedroom? are your needs being met financially?” Cunningham said. “Eventually what happens is, you're going to communicate those needs & those wants to someone else.”
Not a problem for Ceil, “He can read me like a book!” Do you see any pattern in your answers? always, sometimes, never? Cunningham says answering ‘sometimes’ should be a warning, and ‘never,’ should be a big red flag. But as they say, never say never. “It's never, ever too late to have a good relationship,” Cunningham said.
Larry agrees, “There were some tensions there, but we loved each other and it paid off.” Larry & Ceil's secret? They stuck it out. That, they say, is what's missing with so many couples today Ceil says couples should “make every effort they possibly can to solve their problems without the divorce. There is a way. If they have any love for each other at all, they can do it.” Communication is of course- the bottom line- so hopefully your results- already have you and your spouse talking. We set up a link for more relationship questions you can answer tonight before they become problems down the road.
The website for the 22-question relationship quiz is: http://www.gottman.com/marriage/relationship_quiz/
Renee Cunningham's website is: http://www.asonefamily.org/
Divorce isn't the dirty word it once was... In fact, nearly half of all first marriages now end in divorce. We hope it doesn't happen to us, but it takes more than hope.
One valley marriage counselor who came up with a divorce test you can take right now- to measure the strength of your marriage.
Larry and Ceil Toschik met the day before he shipped out to serve in World War II. “I asked if I could write to her," Larry says. Ceil remembers that meeting with a fond smile, “He was young and he was good looking.” And so their courtship began. For three years they exchanged letters, soon after, they exchanged vows. Nearly 60 years later…“There were times i loved him but i hated what was going on!” Ceil said.
Larry traded his army green for an artist’s brush. "I had an outdoor job- and over our first 20 or 30 years of marriage, she was not an outdoor woman at all!” he said. So, there were a couple decades that weren't picture perfect, but they overcame their differences; working away from home, raising 4 children, losing a son in Vietnam.
Licensed marriage & family therapist, Renee Cunningham says, “There's this myth that it doesn't take work to be happy.” Cunningham came up with five simple questions she says every couple should answer to test if their marriage is on solid ground.
1) Do you resolve conflict in your marriage? a) always b) sometimes c) never "It isn't easy- but it can be done!" Ceil said.
2) Do you trust your partner? a) always b) sometimes c) never Larry joked, “She trusted me when she had little reason to trust me, because i had a roving eye.”
Cunningham says to look for signs, “Turning away from your partner, not listening to your partner, fighting frequently, those are about not trusting.”
3) Are you able to maintain your own personal identity in your marriage? a) always b) sometimes c) never “You have to have your own life. If you don't, you're dead in the water,” warns Cunningham.
4) Do you take responsibility-- particularly where problems are concerned? a) always b) sometimes c) never “So what if they ‘win’ for a day, two days, a month?” Cunningham asks, “You gain relationship.”
5) Are you able to communicate your needs and concerns to your partner? a) always b) sometimes c) never “Are your needs being met in the bedroom? are your needs being met financially?” Cunningham said. “Eventually what happens is, you're going to communicate those needs & those wants to someone else.”
Not a problem for Ceil, “He can read me like a book!” Do you see any pattern in your answers? always, sometimes, never? Cunningham says answering ‘sometimes’ should be a warning, and ‘never,’ should be a big red flag. But as they say, never say never. “It's never, ever too late to have a good relationship,” Cunningham said.
Larry agrees, “There were some tensions there, but we loved each other and it paid off.” Larry & Ceil's secret? They stuck it out. That, they say, is what's missing with so many couples today Ceil says couples should “make every effort they possibly can to solve their problems without the divorce. There is a way. If they have any love for each other at all, they can do it.” Communication is of course- the bottom line- so hopefully your results- already have you and your spouse talking. We set up a link for more relationship questions you can answer tonight before they become problems down the road.
The website for the 22-question relationship quiz is: http://www.gottman.com/marriage/relationship_quiz/
Renee Cunningham's website is: http://www.asonefamily.org/
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Heard about a very interesting book titled "The Rantings of a Single Male": Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything, First Edition (Paperback)by Thomas Ellis
Among the book reviews I was struck by one observation as below, observing about women:
Selfishness is not a by-product of feminism, it is a towering result of too many women being allowed to only think of themselves first and foremost. Women aren't raised to sacrifice for the greater good, for justice or for their families. There is no female version of chivalry. They are to be adored and not questioned, they are too valuable to endanger.
Yes I agree that women do tend to think that they are to be pampered(why else the term "Suitor" exists, why else does a man have to go down on his knees to propose), its evolved that way, may be it was relevant at one point in time. But as world changed and has culture changed(culture is ever changing), we ought to have collectively changed our expectations about being a man or woman. I agree men too had a big part in making a woman an object of consumption, and all that pampering and tolerance was with just 'one' thing in mind- yes the self-propogation of man, it is programmed in men. And it is programmed in women that she selects the male who has the best of health and the one who will provide her and her children with the best of resources to thrive on.
But we are supposedly in the era of equal rights(and equal duties too!, hey that comes along with rights, remember), and we know that we need to run families to fulfill many mutual needs. So why don't we all just understand that and live in harmony- its that simple, when u come to think of it.
May be we are all in the cusp of such maturity, may be people can't thrive without contradictions!. But hope that we can have some fun leading family lives, at least some fun, sometime.
More reviews on the above book at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0976261308/ref=pd_sxp_elt_l1/104-2554322-8039126
Among the book reviews I was struck by one observation as below, observing about women:
Selfishness is not a by-product of feminism, it is a towering result of too many women being allowed to only think of themselves first and foremost. Women aren't raised to sacrifice for the greater good, for justice or for their families. There is no female version of chivalry. They are to be adored and not questioned, they are too valuable to endanger.
Yes I agree that women do tend to think that they are to be pampered(why else the term "Suitor" exists, why else does a man have to go down on his knees to propose), its evolved that way, may be it was relevant at one point in time. But as world changed and has culture changed(culture is ever changing), we ought to have collectively changed our expectations about being a man or woman. I agree men too had a big part in making a woman an object of consumption, and all that pampering and tolerance was with just 'one' thing in mind- yes the self-propogation of man, it is programmed in men. And it is programmed in women that she selects the male who has the best of health and the one who will provide her and her children with the best of resources to thrive on.
But we are supposedly in the era of equal rights(and equal duties too!, hey that comes along with rights, remember), and we know that we need to run families to fulfill many mutual needs. So why don't we all just understand that and live in harmony- its that simple, when u come to think of it.
May be we are all in the cusp of such maturity, may be people can't thrive without contradictions!. But hope that we can have some fun leading family lives, at least some fun, sometime.
More reviews on the above book at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0976261308/ref=pd_sxp_elt_l1/104-2554322-8039126
Sunday, October 16, 2005
'family terrorist'
Found an article on net, describing the female propensity to Terrorise. See http://www.fathersforlife.org/pizzey/terror.htm
Found an article on net, describing the female propensity to Terrorise. See http://www.fathersforlife.org/pizzey/terror.htm
Lady Macbeth of Shakespeare
Lady Macbeth is known for being one of the most powerful and even the most feared female characters created by Shakespeare. Even in the beginning, she shows us her ruthlessness when she begins planning Ducan’s murder. She also proved to us that she is a much stronger and dominating person than her husband, but she is fully aware that it won’t be easy to get Macbeth pull through with her plans. Lady Macbeth is described as a man inside a woman’s body by her spouse, and she agrees. She explains that if she weren’t a woman that she would commit the murder on her own. Women, the play implies, can be as ambitious and cruel as men, yet social constraints deny them the means to pursue these ambitions on their own.
Macbeth is very hesitant about her decisions and wishes he did not have to carry through with her demands. However, she still seems to pressure him into proving his man hood so that he can have complete rule. Slowly, her aspirations turn into madness and guilt begins to settle in to the point where she cannot cope and she is found trying to clean up a non-existent bloodstain. The play comes to a close with her suicide as a result of her emotions overpowering her life.
In this particular monologue in the popular style of Shakespeare, Macbeth agonizes over whether or not to kill Duncan, stating that he knows the king's murder is a terrible sin. He struggles with the though. He fears not so much with the horrifying idea of regicide as with the actual fact and process of murdering a man who trusts him. He would like the king's murder to be over and done with already. She states that she herself would go so far as to take her own nursing baby and dash its brains out if she had to in order to attain her goals. Lady Macbeth goes into more detail of how they will pursue her goals until the end of the scene where he resigns from the project.
**********
The above is a character sketch taken from the net. We could help with lesser number of specimens of the above order, these characters will still be existant, but lets hope we all can tide over them or identify them before we get infront of one.
Man or Woman, if his/her greed and avarice takes over his heart its doomsday for all in vicinity including self.
Lady Macbeth is known for being one of the most powerful and even the most feared female characters created by Shakespeare. Even in the beginning, she shows us her ruthlessness when she begins planning Ducan’s murder. She also proved to us that she is a much stronger and dominating person than her husband, but she is fully aware that it won’t be easy to get Macbeth pull through with her plans. Lady Macbeth is described as a man inside a woman’s body by her spouse, and she agrees. She explains that if she weren’t a woman that she would commit the murder on her own. Women, the play implies, can be as ambitious and cruel as men, yet social constraints deny them the means to pursue these ambitions on their own.
Macbeth is very hesitant about her decisions and wishes he did not have to carry through with her demands. However, she still seems to pressure him into proving his man hood so that he can have complete rule. Slowly, her aspirations turn into madness and guilt begins to settle in to the point where she cannot cope and she is found trying to clean up a non-existent bloodstain. The play comes to a close with her suicide as a result of her emotions overpowering her life.
In this particular monologue in the popular style of Shakespeare, Macbeth agonizes over whether or not to kill Duncan, stating that he knows the king's murder is a terrible sin. He struggles with the though. He fears not so much with the horrifying idea of regicide as with the actual fact and process of murdering a man who trusts him. He would like the king's murder to be over and done with already. She states that she herself would go so far as to take her own nursing baby and dash its brains out if she had to in order to attain her goals. Lady Macbeth goes into more detail of how they will pursue her goals until the end of the scene where he resigns from the project.
**********
The above is a character sketch taken from the net. We could help with lesser number of specimens of the above order, these characters will still be existant, but lets hope we all can tide over them or identify them before we get infront of one.
Man or Woman, if his/her greed and avarice takes over his heart its doomsday for all in vicinity including self.
Matriarchy and Patriarchy- Polyandry and Polygamy :A cultural retrospect
When I read the article forwarded by Gopelalwani, I remembered my own promise to myself to continue my observation of cultures which offer fertile grounds for sparking 498a kinda situations: Ie. the Deteriorated family values and the results thereof.
The point in contention is some communities and groups in kerala and how they had evolved over centuries in the quest of social and economic advancement.
In Kerala the king used to select his women(more like in a Harem System) and give her a Saree(known as a "Pudava") to mark his intention. These girls stayed in their own homes and entertained the king(or the local ruler) whenever they dropped in for 'visits'(this kind of pseudo-harem systems were called "sambhandams"). These girls were not restricted not to have a proper marriage!, they used to marry men who are comfortable of the situation and who would run errands on behalf of his wife, even acting a messenger for the 'visits'. The chosen girl(or girls) were powerful since they had the clout to settle local disputes(almost like a extended court system, since the solution could be enforced through the kings favourable views for his chosen girl).
As a result the girls assumed power in households, and men increasingly became servile and at disposal. This trend continued even after kingdoms fell, since centuries of conditioning had by then taken over the society.
I reckon that many societies have this kind of skewed line of controls, and whoever cannot adjust to this system revolt and get into disputes, which may lead to false accusation and charges(like false cruelty and harassment charges - as in IPC 498a). The husbands who tolerated this lead a seemingly calm family, but these guys where infact waiting to vent out somewhere, and more often than not they vent it out against their son in laws!(since they do not want a man to lead any different life than themselves, sub-consciously).
So this kind of psyche also(in addition to neo-feminism) runs across many parts of India and triggers of unnecessary clashes, which leads to a 498a situation.
--- In saveindianfamily@yahoogroups.com, "Gope Lalwani" <gopelalwani@y...> wrote:> MANSA: Fraternal polyandry. If it takes a minute for the term to sink in, you're probably not affected by agrarian crisis the way farmers in Malwa region of Punjab are. Bizzare as it may sound, there is a connection. The problem of fragmentation of land holdings has led to unusual social developments. One being wife-sharing among brothers.
It may be the world's rarest forms of marriages in anthropological terms, but in Mansa district of the state, this is a reality that stares you in the face. Visit any village of Boha area - Gandu Kalan, Gandu Khurd, Reond Khurd, Bhakhrial, Aan-diawali or Khandkalan - there are families of up to seven brothers married to one woman.
The reasons are purely materialistic. It prevents the division of the family farm, thus facilitating all of the family to achieve a higher standard of living. It ensures there is one set of heirs per generation. "Polyandry helps in preventing division of land," says Dr Kuldeep Singh Deep, a noted Punjabi playwright, based in Boha town of Mansa.
He adds that publicly the woman is married to one of the brothers, but within four walls of the house there is "mutual understanding" because of which other brothers do not marry and the division of land is prevented. So far as day-to-day family decisions go, there is one brother - usually the eldest -who exercises authority respected by others. The woman, too, agrees to the practice for the well-being of her children
The concept is not new. It has been written about, depicted in plays and generally found acceptance among the farmer fraternity.
Another reason advanced for its prevalence is the importance given to landholdings in the Jat Sikh community, where marriages are settled on the basis of the land one possesses. Preference is always for a groom who has a good landholding or is in government service. With fragmentation of landholdings and high unemployment rate, it is really a Herculean task for a farmer having 2.5 acres land to find a bride for his son.
This is the reason for steady increase in the number of aging unwed boys in rural areas of Mansa, Bathinda, Faridkot, Muktsar and Sangrur districts...
Continued...<>
When I read the article forwarded by Gopelalwani, I remembered my own promise to myself to continue my observation of cultures which offer fertile grounds for sparking 498a kinda situations: Ie. the Deteriorated family values and the results thereof.
The point in contention is some communities and groups in kerala and how they had evolved over centuries in the quest of social and economic advancement.
In Kerala the king used to select his women(more like in a Harem System) and give her a Saree(known as a "Pudava") to mark his intention. These girls stayed in their own homes and entertained the king(or the local ruler) whenever they dropped in for 'visits'(this kind of pseudo-harem systems were called "sambhandams"). These girls were not restricted not to have a proper marriage!, they used to marry men who are comfortable of the situation and who would run errands on behalf of his wife, even acting a messenger for the 'visits'. The chosen girl(or girls) were powerful since they had the clout to settle local disputes(almost like a extended court system, since the solution could be enforced through the kings favourable views for his chosen girl).
As a result the girls assumed power in households, and men increasingly became servile and at disposal. This trend continued even after kingdoms fell, since centuries of conditioning had by then taken over the society.
I reckon that many societies have this kind of skewed line of controls, and whoever cannot adjust to this system revolt and get into disputes, which may lead to false accusation and charges(like false cruelty and harassment charges - as in IPC 498a). The husbands who tolerated this lead a seemingly calm family, but these guys where infact waiting to vent out somewhere, and more often than not they vent it out against their son in laws!(since they do not want a man to lead any different life than themselves, sub-consciously).
So this kind of psyche also(in addition to neo-feminism) runs across many parts of India and triggers of unnecessary clashes, which leads to a 498a situation.
--- In saveindianfamily@yahoogroups.com, "Gope Lalwani" <gopelalwani@y...> wrote:> MANSA: Fraternal polyandry. If it takes a minute for the term to sink in, you're probably not affected by agrarian crisis the way farmers in Malwa region of Punjab are. Bizzare as it may sound, there is a connection. The problem of fragmentation of land holdings has led to unusual social developments. One being wife-sharing among brothers.
It may be the world's rarest forms of marriages in anthropological terms, but in Mansa district of the state, this is a reality that stares you in the face. Visit any village of Boha area - Gandu Kalan, Gandu Khurd, Reond Khurd, Bhakhrial, Aan-diawali or Khandkalan - there are families of up to seven brothers married to one woman.
The reasons are purely materialistic. It prevents the division of the family farm, thus facilitating all of the family to achieve a higher standard of living. It ensures there is one set of heirs per generation. "Polyandry helps in preventing division of land," says Dr Kuldeep Singh Deep, a noted Punjabi playwright, based in Boha town of Mansa.
He adds that publicly the woman is married to one of the brothers, but within four walls of the house there is "mutual understanding" because of which other brothers do not marry and the division of land is prevented. So far as day-to-day family decisions go, there is one brother - usually the eldest -who exercises authority respected by others. The woman, too, agrees to the practice for the well-being of her children
The concept is not new. It has been written about, depicted in plays and generally found acceptance among the farmer fraternity.
Another reason advanced for its prevalence is the importance given to landholdings in the Jat Sikh community, where marriages are settled on the basis of the land one possesses. Preference is always for a groom who has a good landholding or is in government service. With fragmentation of landholdings and high unemployment rate, it is really a Herculean task for a farmer having 2.5 acres land to find a bride for his son.
This is the reason for steady increase in the number of aging unwed boys in rural areas of Mansa, Bathinda, Faridkot, Muktsar and Sangrur districts...
Continued...<
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