Where do we go

Why will a law lose its teeth if truth is investigated!

2010-07-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

To

The Editor
Express India

Ref: Your article- "Dowry law: mixed reaction to govt rider"(http://www.expssindia.com/latest-news/dowry-law-mixed-reaction-to-govt-rider/651357/)

Quoted from the above article "Asunta Pardhe, advocate and chief functionary, Chetna Mahila Vikas Kendra, says, “The majority of genuine cases will be adversely affected. It will be more difficult for women to fight domestic violence.” "

Its surprising to the point of disgust that these so called women activists are claiming that if the truth of the complaints(from women regarding cruelty/harassment against them) are investigated, the law loses its teeth!!!.

These radical feminists(feminazies) are exposing their true agenda by saying so- they only want these 'women-protection' laws to be there for them to be misused by unscrupulous women and their advisers, so that more and more false cases of cruelty and offenses against women are created and thence more and more funds come their way from the benefactors like UN and NGOs from the developed countries, and neo imperialistic and economic terror establishments of USA , etc.,.

Please do keep up the good work your media house has been doing and bring out the truth behind these money-mongering feminazies, who will make the death-knell of Indian family if they are not kept on check or eliminated totally.

Parenting: Gandhi's Lesson

2010-07-17T04:44:00.000-07:00

Actor Mohanlal's letter and pledge against terrorism

2010-07-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

The pledge against terrorism(through the social organisation "Act for Humanity") is a very good venture by Mohanlal.

I have tweeted both the malayalam and english pledges which interested people can take online, links are as under:
http://twitter.com/gokulpr/status/17986219117 (Malayalam)
http://twitter.com/gokulpr/status/17986936717 (English)

Please do re-tweet both, to reach out to more through all your twitter followers.

Read a news item which mentions about Mohanlal's socially responsible side

2010-04-25T06:09:00.001-07:00

spectator - Sexism? Not Quite

SEXISM IS real. It is dangerous. It is shameful. And it is alive and flourishing all around us. It starts even before birth, when families conspire to get rid of the girl child before she has begun to...read more...
****************
My take on the above article by Seema Goswami

Seema is obviously jealous that she is double the size of Sunanda at half the age! ;).

"Nobody is denying that Sunanda Pushkar is an attractive woman if your taste runs to blonde highlights and industrial-strength mascara." aarrrggghh such venom of jealousy!.

Jokes apart ....... this sweat equity thing needs more clarity, as I realise its some thing which will accrue to the holder if and when the company makes profit and may be other checks and balances on how to value the holders contribution in the results.

But people r jumping up and down like its a down payment(of 70 crores)!. Does anyone in here know how salty sweat equity is really?.

Lastly would Ms.Seema be ready to switch a word "sexism" to "cruelty to women" in her words "Sexism is a serious offence. And it is a serious charge to make. So, those who level it should not do so on frivolous grounds because to do that is to mock every genuine victim of sexism; to make fun of their misfortune; to heap insult on an already grievous injury."

2010-04-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

Inner party democracy -letter to Shashi Tharoor

This is a letter Mr.Sudhakaran(of Great India Trust) sent to Shashi Tharoor, pointing out the flaws of the Indian political system which purges out men of caliber and responsibility and breeds weak, in-effective yes-men as our Political Czars!.

The "action point" is that we have thought of certain methods to bring about the necessary changes in our Political system, but need substantial public participation and support to pull it through.

**********The Letter***********

Here is reproduction of a letter i sent to Shashi Tharoor.
I think his declared intentions of trying to ,change political culture, is sincere.
but the overenthusiasm. .. and his unfamiliarity with the vicious dynamics of the opportunistic indian politics... failled him..

So I thought ot seek his partnership. .. to catch him before he is baptized in the qugmire of corruption.. .
i request all our members, who can, print out this letter and send a copy with necessary changes to suit you. Address: Shashi Tharoor (Congress MP and ex-Minister. , 97/Lodhi Estate,New Delhi - 110003
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----

21-4-2010
Dear Mr. Shashi Tharoor,
I have been wishing to communicate with you since your entry in toCongress party … and started to write in those days itself… then postponed to read `mid night to millennium and beyond' … and I got & read it up to 219 Pages …I am not considering it just as a recording of history and comment by any author… but as the views of a reform activist…. as you sacrificed well paid and well positioned job and entered politics hoping to change the (undesired) political culture… "I would love to change that culture, but I can't as an individual…" 2-3-201, CNN-IBN
The book is a treasure of information, but the analysis... `Criticism unaccompanied by clear and workable prescription… ' (p- 211): I had been telling our intelligentsia to desist form such useless exercise. Have you prescribed, or even identified the flaws in our political system? I did not notice any in your book or deeds.

Immediate provocation to speed up posting of this letter is your exit from the Ministry. In short: I fully appreciate your intention to serve `Mother India' by trying to change the undesired political culture. I myself sacrificed my not-so-bad position, with Government of Fujairah, UAE, in 2003 (sure it does not worth mention… compared to yours) with the same intention. I have sorted out symptoms and causes and written a book `Great India: Indian Democracy – Problems and Solutions', with deep diagnosis and clear workable prescription. Summary given at www.greatindiatrust .org.

I have identified that the most debilitating curse of our political system is the prevalence of the tainted opportunistic lackeys, and a near complete absence of persons of competence, integrity and character - I call it `Character-crisis' in political leadership – not limited to Congress but every party is afflicted. Negation of the natural rejuvenating force of democracy – the `inner party democracy' is the cause of this curse. That is summarized in my letters to AICC president and Election Commission (copies attached).

The book deals with two more grave flaws of our system… both part of genetic flaws of Westminster parliamentary system. But I leave them for a later stage, because the reigning leaderships (in all parties) are not competent enough to appreciate such things. So I am, I appeal you too to be, mono-focused in restoration of `Inner-party democracy' to bring in competent men of integrity and character into the leadership and to purge the not-so-competent, to be vigilant against expropriation of party positions.

A part of my book:
`I would compare a vibrant democracy with a multi-layered pyramid with two doors on each layer, each with opposite characters. Grass root institutions at lowest layer and the apex of the pyramid being the seat of its Chief executive – a party chief or CM/PM/President.
One of the door at each layer continuously attracts and filters-in the most competent ones from the preceding layer, and the other door continuously purge any one seen not-so-competent to be promoted to the next layer during their limited period in the concerned layer. So "only the `better' keep rising while even the `good' fall on the wayside". This increases probability of most competent among the aspirants only reaching apex of the entity; and of each layer get perpetually rejuvenated with most competent.

Unfortunately those doors in Indian Democracy are tampered to reverse their function: Attracting and filtering-in the tainted opportunistic sycophantic lackeys only and purging any one exhibiting a grain of competence, integrity and independence during their time at the concerned layer.

My endeavor is to expose the cause of this flaw/malfunction and rectify it. I appeal for dedicated effort from all concerned patriots to partner in this effort and do whatever they can at their level to realize our cherished common dream `A Great India'.

I regret to say that, I feel, you jumped in or got hoisted to by… to highpolitical power before understanding the dynamics of the vicious quagmire of the degraded Indian political system, operated by tainted opportunistic manipulators. If they feel anybody entered in is not of their ilk and can not be peptized in the quagmire of corruption and lackey-ism, they would discredit and purge such persons… They are playing it at you…

So get baptized or come out before more damage is done.

After all, your intention is not serving Sonia. But is to serve Mother India… And Congress party is a platform for such service. Is not it?

A strong India led by 2 or 3 strong political parties, is my dream. But nominations and consensus is weakening Congress (other parties too) and India too, with perpetually degenerating leadership. So I joined Congress to reform it to strengthen India.

Let us together with many such patriots strive to bring in a better political culture. I have the diagnosis and remedies. Request a fair hearing – I am not used to tweets.

Sudhakaran, Cheravattail House, Tel 0480 2804452, email:sudhakaranck@ gmail.com,
Web: http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/OurGreatIn dia
Download the ebook - Great India..Indian Democracy: Problems and Solutions-> http://bit.ly/bmnTkY

Artached copies of letter to 1- Election Commission
2- AICC & KPCC Presidents
3- Rahul Gandhi
4- ….

101 things to see and do in mumbai bombay

2009-07-31T04:49:00.001-07:00

101 things to see and do in mumbai bombay

Shared via AddThis

2007-09-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

'Peace Ride' on bikes around Bombay,30th Sept 2007

As you may be already knowing, we, in association with Bombay Bikers, are doing a 'Peace Ride' on bikes(and if needed Cars) around Bombay, 30th September in conjunction with Gandhi Jayanthi.

Please do confirm your participation by registering/confirming , see the route details too, at: http://www.bombaybikers.com/prepration/index.php?trip_no=19 . If you are unable to access the site, please send an email to me(drmura (at) hotmail (dot) come or hemant(hemant.kulshreshtha @ gmail.com ) in this regard.

Pls participate in the poll regarding this Peace Ride: http://www.orkut.com/CommPollResults.aspx?cmm=22229511&pct=1188454247&pid=573459727

or at http://www.orkut.com/CommPollResults.aspx?cmm=14080103&pct=1188998479&pid=567088348

Each of your efforts will go a long way in bringing back the tranquility at home, since Charity begins at Home. Home is the fountainhead of life-force, lets nurture the tranquility for families to thrive.

Let there be PEACEEEEEEEEEEE

*************
Warm Regards, Gokul - http://gokul.go.to , www.pifngo.info (Director), 09895697372(at Kerala now, till Mid September), 9821414336(Mumbai) (Read and participate at www.siftimes.com (Editor), and at: http://siftimes.com/blog )

PS: at the bombay bikers site(link above) you will find the list of confirmed participants until now, we expect 10 SIFian bikes(20 people) and another 20 Bombay BIkers Bikes(40 people), thumbing it down on a sunday criss cross mumbai.......... jai ambe

2007-04-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

I may be the fool here, but let me risk the possibility of being termed just that

Why this Dual Standards? -Why dont we write the laws entirely pandering to women's desires instead. Re:Married woman can live with her lover, says court

Ref:Article in Hindustan Times, dtd.April 19, 2007 -> http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729&

Married woman can live with her lover, says court
by KS Tomar, Email Author , Jaipur,

Subject: But really..........Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband?
(do comment on this subject at http://www.saveindianfamily.org/articles/2007/04/i-may-be-fool-here-but-let-me-risk.html )

Hello Everyone,

I may be the fool here, but let me risk the possibility of being termed just that, and yet ask everyone- whether a woman can live with her lover(especially without the consent of her husband!, howmuchever unlikely the possibility of situations to the contrary could be!), while her legal marriage with her husband still exists(will she be legally correct in doing so?. At least isn't a crime of Adultery for her lover?): http://www.vakilno1.com/bareacts/IndianPenalCode/S497.htm , excerpt of this is quoted at the bottom of this mail for ready reference).

Its a simple question, which I consciously made so short so that we can start the discussion based on the popular verdict on this.

The secondary question related to whether a married woman can live with her lover, while her legal husband is alive and non-consenting to this scenario, is that, whether a Judge of an Indian court right, in pronouncing that there is nothing wrong (did the learned judge mean that nothing is wrong 'morally'!, is his role to be a love-guru or a culture-vulture or even a purveyor of morality, or , as expected of him, the upholder of justice or at least, in the bargain, the upholder of WRITTEN LAW prevailing in Present India!).

Some observations on the news(this is uploaded at http://www.protectindianfamily.org/?module=filesdb&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;id=7&fid=3&get=1 for reference)

The judge may be logically or even morally correct in taking this stance in the above scenario, since the girl, in this case, seem to be not all interested(even before marriage she had this 'thing' going!) in her 'legally-married-to-husband". Moreover her lover seems to be ready to face a possible 'Adultery' case! against him, which is what the IPC 497-Adultery
reads out, but only that the judge is not at all ready to take action against him on grounds of adultery, which is the justifiable behaviour expected out of an Honourable Judge(I am assuming that the detailed judgement really doesn't talk about an action under section 497 ie. Adultery law, already been pressed on the lover)

Why this double standards by the Judiciary!- when a girl does obviously wrongful acts according to the WRITTEN LAW of a country, she gets away with favourable interpretations, hearings and readings of the law. This is ensure even if it requires our Judges to do this by bending over backwards or even winding themselves into unjustifiable coils of Judicial wisdom and interpretations, and "woolly woolly words" for judgements, with a willing 180 degree spin-doctoring by the Judiciary , only when the party concerned is a woman(along with her paramour, intact, at her heels). I am not at all justifying the girl's husband, I am just focusing on the courts lenience towards her, which is just the summary of many a case in India, a blatant Gender-Skew!.

Meanwhile when men live by the law, they are treated Guilty until proven innocent(by his own effort, ie. burden of proof solely on himself), yes I am referring to the misuse of gender-biased-skewed laws like IPC 498a and Domestic Violence Act , etc.. If in the legal interpretation of our judges men always have a propensity to do 'bad', and thats why they need to give some 'headstart' to women by ruling in favour of them!, why don't they change the 'WRITTEN LAW ' , so that at least men do not have the ignominy of living with a
non-enforceable Indian Penal Code with respect to men, by and large!.

So the Questions once again are:

1. Whether a married woman can live with her lover, while her legal husband is alive and non-consenting to this scenario(this has reference to the validity of the Adultery law ie IPC 497, as it stands now!)- will she be legally correct in doing so

2. With respect to the above scenario, whether a Judge of an Indian court right in pronouncing that there is nothing wrong on the part of the lady or her lover.- Is the Judge legally correct in doing so

Reference: Indian Penal Code, Section 497. Adultery

Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows
or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of
rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall be punishable as an abettor.(->Interpretation, the Girl is not an
offender of any law in this case, not even a co-accused!)

----------------------------------------------------
On 4/19/07, ramdama dam wrote:
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=9e0b7ae6-86f2-4cb8-812e-a71677b4d729&Can a married woman lawfully live with her lover against the will of her husband? The Rajasthan High Court says yes. In a judgment on Wednesday, the court allowed a married woman, Manju, to live with her lover, Suresh. "It is improper to pass an order to hand over any unwilling married woman to her husband with whom she does not want to stay," said justices GS Mishra and KC Sharma. The court also said that nobody should consider an adult woman as a consumer product. While dismissing a habeas corpus petition filed by Manju's husband, the court came down hard on the misuse of habeas corpus petitions by people who want to thrust their will upon adult women without their consent. The court said the husband was free to approach the family court for divorce. Commenting on the judgment, senior Supreme Court advocate and noted women's rights activist Indira Jaising said, "Though it sounds strange, I am in complete agreement with the high court." "At the end of the day an adult woman has a right to decide whom she wants to live with. She can't be forced to go with her husband against her will," Jaising said. In this case, Jaising said, it is clear that the woman was prepared for divorce. She also felt that Manju's husband had abused the habeas corpus petition because such petitions were generally filed when somebody is actually missing. Asked whether it amounted to adultery, Jaising clarified that the woman could not be prosecuted for this offence under the law. As for the other man, she said, "it seems he is ready to face that". National Commission for Women Chairperson Girija Vyas said that although it seemed like an important judgment, she could not comment on it since she had not seen it yet. Manoj Chaudhry, the counsel for Manju and Suresh, had earlier rejected as baseless the allegations that Manju had been kept in illegal confinement by Suresh. He said that the duo had been living together by their free will and that the relationship had begun even before Manju had got married. With inputs from Satya Prakash and Sutirtho Patranobis.

. All India Helpline Number: 91-92434 73794 (24 Hours)Alternate Nos : 91-9810611534 or 080-65334135 Volunteer Helpline Numbers (limited contact hours)--------------------------------------------------------------- Delhi: Ashish : 9911119113, Swarup : 9810611534 Rajiv :9891369616 Bangalore: 80-65334135 Kolkata : 033-25347398/25217318 Mumbai: 9224335577 / 9869323538 Ahmadabad:9825365816

2007-03-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Oppression has no Gender, so does crime and hence Correction

Having gone through hundreds of sessions counseling victims of gender-specific cruelty had made me realize that men are equally weak, if not weaker than women as victims of oppression (though studies point out that men are emotionally much weaker).

Even though I and my group are concerned with fight against gender biased laws and its use by wives(&/OR instigators), to victmise/terrorise men and his folks, I also have had the opportunity to interact with women who are victims of oppression by men. Which makes me sufficiently self-confidant about writing this piece, though not rocket science, which may not present itself in its full splendor or should we say macabre magnificence if one is not initiated enough.

As they say the feeling of déjà vu is the best way to understand problems, which you have gone through, since you realize what the other person has gone through before they really spell it out in great detail. The cold icy but pale, brimming eyes, the whimpering lips, the longing look in the tired droopy eyes, wrinkly exterior, wiry frames, the unkempt hair, dishelved haunts, the looks of a castaway, the odour of an unwashed body, crumbled clothes, the fidgeting fingers, flitting eyes, the awkward stammer, the lump in the throat, the gasps for air, desperation, the passive hopelessness, the lack of will to live, the shriek of the soul, the hope against hope that someone will hold his hand, the burst into uncontrollable grief, the delusions, the paranoia, the false show of strength, the manic vengefulness, the made up cheer………. Indicators of an unfortunate life……….. strangled by their own sweethearts….. the pain is to be experienced to be realized.

Some cases has been a drain to even think about, by the end of which your brain feels like tearing itself apart, owing to the sheer magnitude of not only just the cruelty and injustice but also because of the heart wrenching deceptions and plain lack of love from a person who the other considers to be his soul mate!.

But life has to go on, like water finding its way through the lowest lying plains, not necessary cutting banks in straight line, life has to inch forward with or without certain hope. And that’s the triumph of man as a survivor, and that’s what he does best- to fight for existence in uncertainty and pain, which is not a new thing for him. As a race we have been fighters all the while, so why think of failure now…….. no way…… its our chance to mould situations according to what want them to be. If we don’t do the changes, the changes will do us in!.

Like the history of Bombay the city, let us all come together with all our differences, to build a great tomorrow. Let us name it in the lines of “BOM BAHIA” like the Portuguese did when they came to Bombay….. lets name our tomorrow “The good Bay”. Where we all can soak up the sun and other bounties of this world, without diffusing and wasting our energies in wasteful destruction of self.

The solution of this recklessness strewn all through our existence is to gain good values, read, listen, experience goodness and practice them in our own lives. After all life’s over in four blinks, why should anyone waste them by not LIVING.

Lets go find our BOM BAHAI, or make one if needed …………… Peace.

2006-12-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

This is an age of maturation.... towards equality

Women will find what’s their true potential, which is nothing but complimentary to that of men, since they have evolved to fend for each other, and not to eliminate each other!

But in the meanwhile all these jingoism and one-up(wo)manship could be done away with, and especially the bad-feminists need to be shooed away by women themselves......or like those ugly roaches, crushed with no mercy!.

Together we win and sustain, together we evolve(as we have evolved).
This is the era of information and knowledge (not brute force, when men were definitely superior), so in this new epoch women will have every opportunity for level playing field. They just need to apply their minds and get what they deserve, and not resort to terrorist activities, subverting their own existence!

2006-12-14T06:49:00.000-08:00

The day when true feminism is reached...it will meld into humanism. Since Man and Woman evolved for each other, else self-pollinating species would have been enough, why didn't evolve as a major species and stay(hermaphrodites). Yes we need both, its a dove-tail fit, complimentary traits, which could have been accommodated in a single body.

The ardhanareeswara concept takes this a bit further, staying that to be fully evolved is to have both traits of Male and Female species for a fuller existence and effect. While u have the courage and aggression characteristic of a man, u need patience and vigil of a female to strike when its apt. The love and warmth of a mom coupled with a stern and unrelenting attention of a father. The forgiveness of a mother coupled with the austerity of a father. These are the ways to a better existence, not sorties of destruction aimed at genocide!

The day when we strike a balance is when true feminism wins and so does humanism(since there is a woman inside everyman, and vice versa!)
Ref: Artcle: 16 Days of Activism: Rutgers Sponsors Global Feminist TerrorismDecember 13, 2006 Vox Populi, Family, Politics, Feminism By David R. Usher : http://protectindianfamily.org/load.php?mod=news&do=view_comments&id=5

2006-08-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

498a Misuse on Zee News

Interview with Gokul, Mumbai about how IPC 498a was misused against him. The accusations were obviously false but police arrested him(as it happens to most of teh accused) even without asking whats the truth or the prima facie evidence he had with him

dowry law abuse in india

2006-08-01T03:27:00.000-07:00

Bharthi's Interview Part-1

Bharthi's interview Part-2(High court and then Supreme court quashes the case since it does not amount to a Cruelty/Harassment or Dowry case- when all the wife wants all his property!)

Raj Kaushal's interview (Wife tried to extort money in collusion with authorities!-Supreme court spoils this sinister plan)

Interview with Gokul, Mumbai(Police investigatio reveals that the property said to have been misappropriated is with the complainants!- but they just had to ask Gokul and he could have given the evidence lying with him, but he had to be jailed for 3 days and fight 3 years and running to fight an already void case!).

Why should these cases, many of which have prima facie evidences of being false, entertained at all?- does the system feel that the courts are not loaded with avoidable work on false and frivolous cases?

These are the 4 Video clips of the CRIMEFILE program: on IPC Section 498a and dowry law misuse in India by Zee News(30&31/07/2006).

Zee news "CRIMEFILE" on misuse of 498a&Dowry law:Sunday night11PM, Repeats Monday 10.30AM&4.30PM

2006-07-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

To the Media Personnel and other responsible Citizens

Messers,

This is to inform the telecast of a TV program on Misuse of 498a and Dowry laws, this will be telecasted on 30th July Sunday night 11 P.M, in "Crime File" program on Zee News . This repeats on Monday morning 10.30AM and evening 4.30PM. Zee News Schedule is here: http://www.zeenews.com/shedule.asp?sid=SHE .

Do see the program and send your feedback to crimereporter@zeenetwork.com , inews@zeenetwork.com , anilsharma@zeenetwork.com , santosht@zeenetwork.com .

Address: CRIME FILE, Zee News, Essel Studio, FC-19, Sector 16-A, Noida - 201301, India
Phone: 91-0120- 2515399, 2511064 to 76
Send e-mail for Advertising : pradeepsingh@zeenetwork.com .

Spread the news and awareness. Also see program "Jurm" in Aajtak today(29th July, Saturday) 11.30PM for the coverage of a similar case of Law misuse.

Do contact us if you or your office also is interested in reporting or knowing more about Misuse of IPC 498a and Dowry laws by Indian wives, putting hapless and innocent husbands and their families in distress and chronic misery. You can read more about IPC 498a misuse and our petitions and awareness efforts at http://www.498a.org/publicity.htm . News in media about cruelty by women/false cases: http://www.498a.org/news.htm .

To read about the widespread misuse of laws like IPC 498a and Dowry Act, and why even the Supreme court has acknowledged misuse of 498a read.. http://at498a.blogspot.com/2006/07/please-report-on-misuse-of-ipc-section.html

Warm Regards

P.R.Gokul
http://gokul.go.to , http://cruiserdeep.blogspot.com/
Tele/Fax : +91 22 25614188(Bombay, Res), +91 9821414336
Join SIF Mumbai Chapter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sif-mumbai/join
http://mynation.net
http://www.498a.org
http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily
24-hour All India Helpline Number:+91-9243473794
Volunteer Helpline Numbers(send SMS if unavailable)
Delhi     : 9871734980, 9810611534, 9911119113
Chandigarh: 9888562582
Bangalore : 80-55334135
Mumbai    : 9224335577
Jaipur    : 9352562456
emails: help@498a.org , info@mynation.net , mail@saveindianfamily.com, help@asha-kiran.com
See ongoing awareness campaigns: http://at498a.blogspot.com/, to post to this blog send email to cruiserdeep.498a@blogger.com

2006-07-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

Blog using your Emails: Send a copy of your 498a awareness emails to cruiserdeep.498a@blogger.com

Hi All,

Even if you do not have a blog, or can't get on the web to post it. Just email a copy your awareness emails to cruiserdeep.498a@blogger.com (put this email id in the Cc of your emails sent to people/media) and it will be posted to the blog http://at498a.blogspot.com/ . This blog is built for sharing and accumulating all our Promotion Campaigns(including emails, Media contacts, Posters, any other publicity/awareness material). So that this could be a Single point for all references to our Promotion.

Some samples have already been posted here as below:

http://at498a.blogspot.com/2006/07/contributed-by-sudipto-de-sarkar.html : Written to the Zee news Channel explaining about the ignominy and misery 498a victims and society in general go through

http://at498a.blogspot.com/2006/07/contributed-by-lucio-mascarenhas.html: Written to the Zee News in the above lines, emails like these will prompt the media to make more and more programs on Misuse of 498a.

So I urge all SIF members to send emails to the Media. You can find some Media contacts in the Blog itself(http://at498a.blogspot.com/2006/07/media-people-of-india-httpwww.html etc., apart from the file section of SIF yahoo group).

Start sending emails to Media, and copy your emails to cruiserdeep.498a@blogger.com so that it automatically gets posted on the blog(http://at498a.blogspot.com/), and others can take inspiration, data and ideas from your posts. Send in your emails SOOOON.

Do email me at drmura@hotmail.com if you want to be a member of this blog, so that you can post/edit from Web too.

2006-07-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

Zee news "CRIMEFILE" on misuse of law:Sunday night11PM 30th July 2006, Repeats Monday 10.30AM&4.30PM

Hi All,

Just confirmed with Delhi Zee news office that the program on Misuse of 498a and Dowry laws will be telecasted on Sunday night 11 P.M, in "Crime File" program on Zee News. This repeats on Monday morning 10.30AM and evening 4.30PM. Zee News Schedule is here: http://www.zeenews.com/shedule.asp?sid=SHE .

Earlier the bombay reporter had told(and even now!) that it will be telecasted on Saturday and repeats on Sunday(so just to be sure watch out the same timings on Saturday too, though Delhi office is sure that its on Sunday & repeated on Monday)Do send your feedback to crimereporter@zeenetwork.com , inews@zeenetwork.com , anilsharma@zeenetwork.com , santosht@zeenetwork.com , crimefile@zeenews.com . That is crimereporter (at) zeenetwork.com , inews (at) zeenetwork.com , anilsharma (at)zeenetwork.com , santosht (at) zeenetwork.com & crimefile (at) zeenews.com .......... . (replace (at) with @). If they get good viewership and feedback, they will follow-up with more programs, so send in your feedback emails and forward this message and inform all interested people you know.

Those who want to be anonymously interviewed(to which Zee didn't agree this time), or telephonically interviewed or by webcam/net, can also give their ideas and request through the emails above, or write to address below:

Address: CRIME FILE, Zee News, Essel Studio, FC-19, Sector 16-A, Noida - 201301, IndiaPhone: 91-0120- 2515399, 2511064 to 76Send e-mail for Advertising : pradeepsingh@zeenetwork.com .

Spread the news and awareness

2006-07-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

"Men don't cry", "Men don't ask for help when in trouble(they seldom ask for Directions for example)" these are some Stereotypes which come to mind when you think about traits of men. Some of the lesser discussed traits, but which are conditioned almost indelibly into a mans psyche 1) A man hides and tolerates abuse from wife, since if known to public, he will be seen as a sissy, a cad, a spine-less being 2) He does not discuss his domestic problems with others, he won't even be really interested in helping fellow men in domestic abuse situations, even if he is able to(since that would earn him a label of anti-woman, and he will be ostracised by feminists and possibly denied the company of beautiful Power-Babes!, and most certainly ridiculed by foul-mouthed internet stalkers).

See how Chivalry is conditioned and taught to both Men and Women right from their childhood, and how some men feel obliged to stay in abusive relationships with abusive wives/partners Article: Stephen Hawking and the burden of western chivalry . Related article: Article WORKING WITH VIOLENT WOMEN BY ERIN PIZZEY

2006-07-20T00:23:00.000-07:00

Message in the Bottle... to my Daughter

This is the message I am unable to give you in person, but the same would be an answer to many of your Questions.

Why did I leave you, why didnt I keep in touch with you: I was forced to keep away from you since I didn't want you to be brain-washed about me, and in the process develop wrong ideas about the world and relationships. By explaining everything in detail here, I dont want to risk the above, myself, so I will try and tell things to you in person whenever there is a chance.

Did u have an improper phase of growing-up: You just had an unusual childhood, with no father around but thats not improper- there are a lot of children growing up without fathers, and many of them have went on to have a full life. Life does not always present itself to one, as it did to another- we all have to make do with what we have, like I did, and be positive about life. When something is not there, there is always some other thing which is going for you, realise that and carry on.

Will I be happy to have you back in my life: Oh yes, by all means, I am waiting for such a time when you realise that your father is not a bad man who left his wife and kid for his selfish motives. We will find ways to be together and to catch up with lost time together. I am waiting for you to be ready to meet... do not have any doubts about that. I am waiting with a smile.

Till we meet...... my wishes are with you.

yours lovingly

Father.

2006-06-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

I had written to the President at presidentofindia@rb.nic.in , urge you to also write regarding the injustice you are facing due to Misuse of IPC 498a.

regards
Gokul
----- Original Message -----
From: Gokul
To: president
Sent: Monday, June 19, 2006 11:34 AM
Subject: Misuse of IPC 498a putting Indian families in extended Turmoil

Dear Mr.President,

I hope you have some time to go through what I am submitting I am sure you have heard about the IPC section 498a, which is a section to safegaurd women against cruelty from husband and relatives.

But this gets misused mainly by women who are vengeful and wants either a ransom for letting the husband out of the false case, or to make him submit to her demands and lead life gaining power over the husband and family.

Sir, myself and many others who are just in their youth and have many dreams in life are tied up in this legal mess because of this section, which does not need any evidence other than the girls word to get the accused arrested and entangle them in the case for years and years in our slow judicial redressal system. Along with the husbands, their families are also caught in this quicksand of misused law. And in effect the law which is aimed to protect women is trapping atleast 2 women of a household on the hands of an unscrupulous, vengeful and law misusing legal terrorist. For more details about this you could refer to my complain letter to Commissioner of Police, Mumbai at: http://cruiserdeep.blogspot.com/2006/01/i-had-posted-below-petition-at-sites.html and http://www.498a.org/contents/publicity/498aReport.pdf .

Your attention to this issue and instructions to our law makers would definitely speed the ongoing amendment/repeal of this section of IPC. Do let me know of anything else which I can do to assist you in wiping this menace off, which is tying up a lot of positive energy and resources of our country.

One online community, with over 900 members all over the globe, fighting against this has some websites created and managed by volunteers:
http://mynation.net

http://www.498a.org

http://www.saveindianfamily.org/

You can read accounts of 100s of members, details of the misuse we get as SOS help requests at: http://victims-of-law.blogspot.com . Request you to guide us to bring some sanity to the oft-misused IPC section of 498a. As you can imagine 100s of man years have already been lost on account of this misuse, and is easily a national threat if left unchecked.

Warm Regards

P.R.Gokul
http://gokul.go.to , http://cruiserdeep.blogspot.com/
, Chat IDs 1)Yahoo: gokul_p_r@yahoo.com 2) drmura@hotmail.com
Tele/Fax : +91 22 25614188(Bombay, Res), +91 9821414336
Join SIF Mumbai Chapter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sif-mumbai/join
http://mynation.net
http://www.498a.org
http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily
24-hour All India Helpline Number:91-09243473794
Volunteer Helpline Numbers
Delhi : 9871734980, 9810611534, 9911119113
Chandigarh: 9888562582
Bangalore : 80-55334135
Mumbai : 9224335577
Jaipur : 09352562456

2006-03-24T01:01:00.000-08:00

This is one movement which had caught my attention, I hope they fulfill what they set out to do... This came as an email to me, and I felt that they should be given some mindshare, after all this seems to be a time of public awareness and arising......

regards
Gokul

IITians completing master degrees, that all the present politicians cannot even think to make together, decided to rinse the filthy and foul elementsof the system to make our India a Jagadguru (ruler of the world). Theirbrilliance, patriotism and sacrifice are unusual and very remarkable. They callthemselves PARITRANA (pretty uncommon name), means complete relief implying theend of the very cause of distress, that’s what they think will do for everycitizen of India.

All those IITians been suspected in any possible way people can think, ratherthan applauding their super intelligent brain, that they are renowned in wholeworld for. They sacrificed their multimillion dollar jobs and comfortable lifeonly to make the system of our India super strong. They personally hatecorruption, illiteracy, opaqueness, partiality based on religion and so all thefouls that we all detest that our country needs. They dream a revolution ofpatriot youth government, which will change the whole system of India to gettransparent, corruption free and super advanced India, and so we all dream. PARITRANAthe Political party for the Bharat of the 21st century.

This mail is a part of the online campaigning started by prospective members ofPARITRANA contacted by the PARITRANA leaders, towards gaining support forPARITRANA in each and every city .To know more about this party go throughtthe following links and blogs.Please dont treat this mail as just anotherforward.This is an endeavour towards gathering momentum for PARITRANA by havingthis mail read by every IT professionals ,college goer and college passedout,students pursuing their diploma,etc.Currently what is needed is that weestablish a popularity base as broad as possible among the elite learnedcommunity and then concentratrate on the grassroots section of the society. Thefollowing are the links

Since , one of the leader of “PARITRANA” Mr. Santhanagopalan Vasudev is goingto contest in one of the Chennai Constituency , Myself and other patrioticfriends from Chennai are joining our hands with him to face the election ..Ikindly request you people to join yahoo groups called “paritranaites” which wascreated by us with help of party leaders .. So, please join with us to make a great India ...The link for yahoo groups ishere ,join in this group and shoot up your views , ideas and suggestions...
Please join this group with your yahoo id ..
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/paritranaites/

OTHER LINKS
http://www.arthshastra.com/archive/paritrana-getting-to-know-a-little-bit-more/ (The interview with Chandrasekhar,National Treasurer of Paritrana ) http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1384682.cms ( THE TIMES OF INDIA article on Paritrana)http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=86859 ( Indian Express article on Paritrana) http://www.paritrana.org/ ( The official website for PARITRANA politicalparty)
http://www.paritrana.org/joinus.htm (For joiningPARITRANA visit this link.) http://paritranaiites.blogspot.com/2006/02/to-all-prospective-paritranaiites.html

By getting this mail you hold the responsibility towards forwarding the mail to all your known friends collegemates,juniors somehow or the othereither by sending a mail to the college groups or individually.Remember thatthis is just one of the many ways of helping PARITRANA. Let carry out these actions with intense fervourand aggression fueled by the retribution we thought of having on this corruptpolitical system.For charging up let us recall just a few instances when welost our temper---murder of the IIT graduate Satyendra Dubey , IIM graduateManjunath who were all victims of this corrupt political system for the onlyreason that they carry out their duties in a sincere manner ,the acceptanceof bribe by the lard laden politicans for raising questions in the parliamentstowards taking a break from the usual routine of warming up the seats in theparliament etc.... The choice is yours as to whether you want to helpthose PARITRANA leaders assume the sceptre at the earliest or you want towitness the damn politicians playing the zero sum game forever.

Some work it is... ahead+ Pic Blast from the Past

2006-02-20T01:54:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from the PHSS Seminar Nasik which was held on 15th January 2006. I would like to share my state of mind with respect to our fight against 498a as below. This is an excerpt of my email to my comarades in this fight:

I personally feel that as of now we can share successful strategies in individual cases, and try to replicate that everywhere(using the same 498a and IPC on an "as is, where is" basis)

This where the importance of the the Book of Knowledge(BOK) comes, this concept(Expert system to fight 498a) was discussed in the 498a.org Forums: http://498a.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=53&highlight=#53 . Do post your views in there so that we can start to build the BOK or expert system.

Since to change the 498a law is an altogether different ball game, which I would think of as a very meek chance since vested interest would like to keep the law the same as it is, vote banks & merceneries like women organisations(they dont brandish real women issues, they only uphold saleable issues which get them funding, again from vested interests) are the reason. So that would be secondary and at ease, primary focuse being development and replication of successful strategies and promotion strategies. I am ccing this to SIF core for some synergistic discussions/

I will be off air from 21st feb again for a month so, please do keep this in mind.

As bharathi and I was discussing its high time that we have an All india meet in Mumbai(or Delhi) to forge some concrete action plans(we need to discuss those on email and bring it to some shape , before we meet in person- for better effectiveness).

laters
GokulPS: I feel that by now we must have got enough forms filled , to run some statistical analysis. or design some questionnaires suitable for running Factor analysis, cluster analysis and other statistical tests, which can be the first steps to establish some scientific basis for the "need for change".

I am also uploading some more photos from the PHSS seminar and 2 snaps of India's first fully 498a'ed village which we found enroute to Nasik while travelling towards the Seminar venue, courtsey of this find goeas to Vinod Patil whose wife is from this village, as per him the girls of this village are all back from their marital homes after firing 498a Scuds on their husbands families, in hope to live happily thereafter!. What is this world coming to!.

But lets not sit quiet and suck it up, lets do all thats in our rights to do, if needed all whats not too!, if it comes to that.

Cruising later Deep

2006-01-16T02:58:00.000-08:00

Am I coward ?

my knees have circular scar frmbeing scrubbed with foot pad
I have a sambhar burn on face
I have a two stitches on my thigh
Yet I had to face the threat of being in Jail as an aggressor rather then vicitm
People either laugh and sympatheise but nobody says I shuld get justice only becuase I happen to be a male !
Am I a coward not to complain or iss it just the mistrust society ?

I care too hoots for laughter I bother needless about sympathy but I want Justice .
Will I get it ?

A victim

2006-01-15T06:07:00.000-08:00

Cowardice asks...."Is it safe?" Expedience asks...."Is it politic?" Vanity asks...."Is it popular?" There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right: Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yes, its time to take a Stand the right one, even if it costs you, even if you need not, even if you aren't obliged to do so.......

We are just back from Nasik 498a Seminar(held at IMA Hall, Shalimar Chowk), it was good and we got a lot of contacts of PHSS members all over maharashtra. With PHSS's ground level activism and contacts we can leverage our promotion & effectiveness better, we have in fact discussed how we can conduct seminars and other promotional activities in Bombay with their contacts and 498a luminaries.

The notable PHSS member's in Mumbai are 1) Mr.Bhimrao Budhivant, Secretary, Mumbai: Tel(R): 022 55847025, Mobile: 9820441832/31, 2) Adv.Anamika Vichare, Legal Advisor Tel: 022 25783986, 25783781, 55833567, 9324317408, 9869470238, 3)Mr.Sunil D.Mungi, President, Mumbai, Tel(R) 022 25911798 4) Adv.Dharmendra Chavan, General Secretary, Tel 0253 2501666. 5) Mr.Vijay Khobragade, Sthree Atyachar Peedith Purush Vikas Sanstha, Nagpur, Tel: 09422809293.

We will conduct a contact program in Mumbai soon, so I would warn the offenders to take note that backtrack, when theres still time. We don't take it lying down, and we mean what we say- if you don't wanna stay in the marriage just leave peacefully, else we are gonna get you so bad, that you gonna beg for mercy at the end(how muchever time it takes to get you to that state).

laters
Cruising Deeper soon, deeper underground

2006-01-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

Subject: Narcissistic Community of Women (This summation is based on a book called Malignant Self Love – Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin, PhD.). Submitted to SIF Yahoo group by : Friend Friend. This would explain the genesis of the Award winning article(The Dark Side of NRI Marriages: Husbands Fall Victim to Dowry-Immigration Fraud) by Lisa Tsering blogged at http://www.498a.org/blog/?p=27

Original post of this article at:
1) http://news.asianweek.com/news/view_article.html?
2) http://www.imdiversity.com/villages/asian/politics_law/pns_indian_dowry_0105.asp
3) http://misuse498a.tripod.com/Tsering.htm
4)http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=2d3a3e8726139933addb1da248ca7e81
5)http://news.pacificnews.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=2d3a3e8726139933addb1da248ca7e81
6)http://www.nriinternet.com/Marriages/Dowry/Innocent/2005/1_Victim%20To%20Dowr.htm
7)http://jobs.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=768649893bc5975ce97b6bff5354c210
8) http://www.silkfraud.com/immigrationfraud/

The Narcissistic Community of Women (NCW)

The Narcissistic Community of Women (NCW) is comprised of women who are pathological liars. In a way they are sadists; they use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against the weak among the women, the elderly and even young children. When the narcissistic woman’s glamour and trickery wears thin, underneath lurks a monster, which sucks the affect, distorts the cognition and irreversibly influences the lives of those around it to the worse. The narcissistic woman has no time/energy for anything except the next narcissistic fix, no matter what the price and who is trampled on. Depending on who is involved, the narcissistic women behave differently. They will not be enraged by the behavior of an important person, but will become absolutely malevolent with their own husband and in-laws under the same circumstances. For the narcissistic women, humans are dispensable/ re-usable.

The narcissist is judgmental (with no merit) is above reproach and is above any law, social or other (threatens her grandiosity). If ignored, feels empty, humiliated, wrathful, discriminated against, neglected and feels that she is compromising, sooner or later, the narcissistic woman
will plot, conspire and do what ever is necessary to regain lost ground, recognizes no borders and no other people except those who are able to provide her narcissistic supply sources. To cause someone to have sex with her is a powerful feeling for the narcissistic woman. It leads to
a quick succession of narcissistic supply sources.

The narcissistic woman is unable to simulate emotions (only able to feign emotions), is devious and is very convincing. Gradually, the narcissistic woman distorts the personalities of those she is in constant touch with (e.g. colleagues, workers, professionals, etc.). Casts them in her deficient mold, limits them, redirects them and inhibits them. She drives the mate/spouse, colleagues/workers, professionals and even children into collaborating and induces them to criminal and romantic impulses. The narcissistic women are charmers, persuaders and gifted
actors. Many such women belong to the socio-economically privileged classes and find scapegoats or co-conspirators very easily and get away because of society (being able to have the rules bent for them, etc.). The facilitators once compromised, continue collaborating to hide their own dishonesty.

Narcissistic women are enamored of status symbols (big houses, expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, successful spouses, private schools for kids, etc.). The narcissism and religion may go well together, because it allows the narcissistic woman to feel unique and believe that they have
a “direct line to God.” She baits authority and challenges (e.g. false complaints, not complying with court/custody/visitation orders etc.). She fears air-travel, ‘Narcissistic confinement’. A Narcissistic woman may flaunt and exploit physical charms (may claim false modesty and yet
may reveal herself as a possible “whore”). She may cast herself in the role of the eternal victim. For the narcissistic woman, to be abandoned (e.g. an impending divorce) means to be judged in her totality. Even though the narcissistic woman, works towards the disintegration of the
relationship, “Desertion is emotional annihilation of the narcissistic woman” and consequently feels annulled, rendered transparent, abused, exploited and objectified.

The narcissistic woman is born into a dysfunctional family (affective dysfunction and massive denials) with several personality disorders, constant aggression and violence/abuse (verbal/psychological/physical and sexual). The narcissistic woman has 2 masks, the first, the “false self” and the second, as a “vulnerable child like person (and subject to protection) who is a genius (therefore worthy of special treatment).” The narcissistic woman makes absurd accusations, distorts facts, pronounces allegations, and motivated by the fear of abandonment will demean herself to the point of provoking repulsion in the beholder.

When confronted by a crisis (e.g. impending divorce): Blinded by pain, the married narcissistic woman turns to and upon those nearest to her (husband and in-laws) – in fear – embarks on an orgy of self destruction intended to generate attention at any cost. Traumatizes the spouse, does not hesitate to lie, fabricate, deceive or “expose” (misleading) half-truths. Is a star among the ranks of crooks, villains and con artists? May maliciously and intentionally shower bad intentions on some victims (e.g. estranged spouse) and sadistically forces them to pay a heavy toll, materially, in reputation and emotionally. Engages in acts, which puts husband and in-laws in the line of punishment, hurts people, breaks the law or violates morality(A True "Family Terrorist"). May return to an old haunt (defunct pathological narcissistic space) e.g. an ex-mate, if she can no longer inhabit the current pathological narcissistic space.

Suddenly, because of boredom, an act or a mood (it does not have to be grounded in reality), the narcissistic woman swings from idealization to devaluation and the mate/spouse who is still a major source of narcissistic supply (to be punished for not being docile/obedient) is subjected to acts of sadism “I inflict pain, therefore I am superior.”

The narcissistic woman invades the victim’s territory (e.g. job), abuses confidence, exhausts resources, hurts her husband’s loved ones, humiliates and insults privately and in public. Actions and reactions are determined by input from outside (e.g. parent narcissist/friend who has acquired similar traits/support groups, etc.). Calls the Police because they represent the law and what is right (represents her rigid parents), to suppress the unruly behavior, of her own narcissistic disorder, (blamed on the victim). The rigid parents (often narcissists themselves)
reward and punish arbitrarily, abandon, smother with ill regulated emotions, instill a rigid, sadistic super-ego, (but will even help cover up murder by their emotionally crippled child-adult) and are a secondary narcissistic supply source.

The narcissistic child represents the dysfunctional family (with mood disorders, abuse, Cluster B personality disorders, etc.). “Life is a Movie,” gaining control by “writing a scenario” or by “inventing a narrative” is commonplace for the narcissistic woman. Emits a narcissistic signal (reaches out to ex-mates) then receives a host of narcissistic stimuli (messages from people willing to collaborate in providing the narcissistic supply), rates these stimuli and those with the highest rating is selected, then over valued. Feels magically rewarded, re-awakened. The Narcissist has no genuine emotions, can be in love with the narcissistic supply source because the person is famous/has money/power/comes from the right family/ is a Citizen of a foreign country (whereas the narcissist is a potential immigrant and needs sponsorship).

To impress a group of people (e.g. support groups) the narcissist will identify with their goals and beliefs to the point of ridicule. The narcissist is always the most fanatical, extreme and the most dangerous (at stake is her own survival). Having learned to manipulate their human environment to a masterly extent, they believe they will always “get away with it” and “punishment is for ordinary people.” Once the group is no longer instrumental, the narcissistic woman devalues it, ignores it and in extreme cases destroys it (as punishment for its incompetence at securing her narcissistic supply).

When confronted with her own off-springs, the narcissistic woman at first perceives them as a threat to her narcissistic supply sources and may attempt to hurt them. If this proves to be in effective, subjects them to emotional absence and detachment, and directs transformed anger at the spouse (starting soon after the delivery).

Some manipulate their spouse by “taking over” the child (Annexation and Assimilation) and use it as a source of narcissistic supply. The mother can cast herself in the role of the eternal victim, who has dedicated her life to the child (implicit proviso of reciprocity) and may treat the child as an extension of the Mother, or she may create a situation of the Mother and child “united against external threats” (having already destroyed the Father).

If the offspring starts becoming judgmental (as he/she gets older), then he/she is perceived as a threat and is rejected to get what the narcissistic woman finally wants “disintegration.” Contempt, rage, emotional and psychological abuse and even physical violence occur if the
narcissistic woman is disenchanted with her child – narcissism breeds’ narcissism. If the mother herself is the narcissist type, the growth prospects of the child are indeed dim.

Other personality disorders may be inter-related: (Cluster B Disorders – e.g. Narcissistic, Borderline and Antisocial).

In stressful situations, they will try to pre-empt a (real/imaginary) threat, introduce new variables or otherwise influence the external world (cajole, bribery, threaten, fabricate, etc.) to conform to their needs.

Borderline Personality Disorder patients may experience brief psychotic “micro-episodes.” It is a case of a failed narcissistic solution and may lead to self-mutilation. The Anti-Social Personality may in addition exhibit internalized and transformed aggression directed at a self-perceived inadequate worthy of nothing but elimination. The Cluster B Personality Disorders may overlap and during a crisis may exhibit features of the other. Personality Disorders are more common in people with breast augmentation (as per some researchers).

To stop a narcissist Do not adore, approve, applaud or confirm anything that the narcissistic woman says. Receiving special treatment (from lawyers, psychologists, courts, support groups, etc.) will only exacerbate the condition by supporting the grandiose, fantastic image the narcissistic woman has of herself. Force the narcissistic woman to admit that she is absolutely wrong and in need of professional help. Get them to commit to therapy.

Get the narcissistic woman to confront (during therapy) a real version of herself. (A good friend/spouse/therapist/parent or all can help). Set up rigid, strict and well-defined rules. Clear and painful sanctions must be applied religiously and mercilessly, set in writing in unequivocal language. Get the narcissistic woman to confront the narcissist parent. Penalize the criminal acts.

(This summation is based on a book called Malignant Self Love –
Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin, PhD.) . Submitted to SIF Yahoo group by : Friend Friend

Is this the reason why we have a growing Creed of "Doosri Radhas", like former Inspector General Mr.D.K.Panda, so much so that NCW itself is to inquire into dowry harassment claims against D K .

Regards
Cruiser, Deeper soon

2006-01-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

I had posted the below petition at the sites mentioned below. I appeal to you all to post your complaints about 498a and its injustice-misuse at http://www.mumbaipolice.org/complaint.htm (also paste the same at http://www.mumbaipolice.org/feedback.htm ). We need to Propogate the support we have got from the Supreme Court to the other law enforcing agencies too....
************** My Petition to Commissioner of Police*********
From,

P.R.Gokul
B-102, Matoshrikripa C.H.S, Bhandup(east), Mumbai-400042
Tele/Fax : +91 22 25614188(Bombay, Res), +91 9821414336

To,

The Commissioner of Police, Mumbai
(and Other personnel in I.P.S)

Subject : Misuse of IPC section 498a, resulting misery for Indian families.

Messer’s,

This is to report rampant misuse of Anti Harassment/Cruelty(Domestic violence) laws in India(the concerned section in Indian penal code is section 498a). The potency of misuse is much since the Police doesn't need any other supporting evidence or witness other than the wife's statement/complaint, to straight away arrest the Husband and his relatives (Whoever is named in the wife's complaint), since it is a cognisable crime, following which is an ordeal of long drawn and wasteful legal proceedings for the Husband (in this law he is Guilty until proved innocent!, unlike any other law, anywhere else).

As you might be aware of this misuse yourselves, I would, on behalf of other victims of this misuse also, appeal to all police personnel to treat the complaints u/s IPC 498a with some restraint and empathy. This is in the same lines as supreme courts judgment, cited below, where SC has appealed its courts to exercise restraint till legislature finds way to deal with Makers of frivolous complaints, when S.C ruled: "Till then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing framework". The excerpt from this judgment is shown below:

The supreme court judgment(in the writ number 141 of 2005) acknowledges that there is rampant misuse of 498a. Especially when Supreme Court of India acknowledges that misuse of 498A is on the rise, and has hinted that the legislature may have to find ways to deal with misusers of 498A, terming this trend as Legal Terrorism. And implicitly directing other indian courts by saying "Till then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing framework.

The excerpt of this judgment, regarding misuse of 498a, in writ petition No.141 of 2005 of Supreme Court is reproduced below:

*************** Excerpt of the Supreme Court Judgment ***************

“The object of provision is prevention of the dowry menace. But as has been rightly contented by the petitioner, many instances have come to light where the complaints are not bonafide and have been filed with oblique motive. In such cases acquittal of the accused does not in all cases wipe out the ignominy suffered during and prior to trial. Sometimes adverse media coverage adds to the misery. The question, therefore, is what remedial measures can be taken to prevent the abuse of well-intentioned provision. Merely because the provision is constitutional and intra vires, does not give a license to unscrupulous person to wreck personal vendetta or unleash harassment. It may, therefore become necessary for the legislature to find out ways how the makers of frivolous complaints or allegations can be appropriately dealt with. Till then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing framework. As noted above the object is to strike at the roots of dowry menace. But by misuse of the provision a new legal terrorism can be unleashed. The provision is intended to be used as a shield and not as an assassin's weapon. If cry of wolf is made too often as a prank assistance and protection may not be available when the actual wolf appears. There is no question of investigation agency and courts casually dealing with the allegations. They cannot follow any straitjacket formula in the matters relating to dowry tortures, deaths and cruelty. It cannot be lost sight of that ultimate objective of every legal system is to arrive at truth, punish the guilty and protect the innocent. There is no scope for any pre-conceived notion or view. It is strenuously argued by the petitioner that the investigating agencies and courts start with the presumption that accused persons are guilty and that the complainant is speaking the truth. This is too wide available and generalized statement. Certain statutory presumptions are drawn which again are rebuttable. It is to be noted that the role of investigating agencies and the courts is that of watch dog and not of a bloodhound. It should be their effort to see that innocent person is not made to suffer on account of unfounded, baseless and malicious allegations. It is equally indisputable that in many cases no direct evidence is available and the courts have to act on circumstantial evidence while dealing with such cases, the law laid down relating to circumstantial evidence has to be kept in view.”

The above S.C ruling clearly shows that the judiciary is silently trying to do its best to avoid IPC section 498a being used as a weapon in the hands of assailants, we are sure that the Police force too will follow the same attitude towards 498a accusations, which are found to be false in more than 75% of all the reported cases.

Please also see below, the US and Canadian consular warnings for its citizens (of Indian origin mainly) with respect to this misuse of 498a.

US Consular Warning( http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1139.html ): Excerpt--> A number of U.S.-citizen men who have come to India to marry Indian nationals have been arrested and charged with crimes related to dowry extraction. Many of the charges stem from the U.S. citizen's inability to provide an immigrant visa for his prospective spouse to travel immediately to the United States. The courts sometimes order the U.S. citizen to pay large sums of money to his spouse in exchange for the dismissal of charges. The courts normally confiscate the American’s passport, and he must remain in India until the case has been settled. There are also cases of U.S.-citizen women of Indian descent whose families force them against their will into marriages to Indian nationals.

Canadian Consular affairs info for Canadian abroad ( http://www.voyage.gc.ca/dest/report-en.asp?country=128000#6 ): Excerpt--> Growing numbers of Canadian citizens have been caught up in marital fraud and dowry abuse in India. Most cases involve Indo-Canadian males who abandon their wives in India after cheating them out of large sums of money. Other cases involve misuse of India’s Dowry Prohibition Act. This law, which was enacted to protect women and makes demanding a dowry a crime, is sometimes used to blackmail men through false allegations of dowry extortion. Individuals facing charges may be forced to remain in India until their cases have been settled or pay off their spouses in exchange for the dismissal of charges. To avoid such problems, you are advised to register your marriage in India along with a joint declaration of gifts exchanged, as well as consider a prenuptial agreement

Sowry Harassment is what is in vogue now:
Sowry Harassment - The New Bane of Indian Society

Sowry Harassment Weblinks:

http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/sowry-harassment/
http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2006/01/11/lisa-tsering-gets-award/
http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=768649893bc5975ce97b6bff5354c210
http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/10/29/complains-sowry-harassment/

In fact we are organised as a group in internet and we have over 460 members-victims in india and abroad.

To know more please visit http://www.498a.org, http://www.saveindianfamily.org & http://mynation.net . This is causing Havoc in Indian expatriates working in other countries like USA too.

Warm Regards

P.R.Gokul
http://gokul.go.to , http://cruiserdeep.blogspot.com/

2005-12-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

The Great Indian Gender Dilemma: How Can a Wife press false charges on her Husband(Pathi Parameshwar- as considered in India)

Many times during my interactions with my readers(blogs and homepage depicting different fronts of legal misuse by wives), I find them awe-struck, dumb-found, bewildered if not down right suspicious or skeptical. They inform me that they cannot believe in their wildest imagination that an Indian wife(stereotypically considered to be the personification of Mother Earth- who tolerates and forgives any indolence and injustice towards her) can inflict acute harm to her marital family this way. They ask me; leave alone framing false charges and cases, they can't even think of women who would actually enjoy the hapless(that's what those Lady Macbeths hope their husbands would be reduced to, in face of false 498a cases against them) husbands being sent to Jail or hiding from law till bail is arranged.

I have also thought about my wife this way, in dismay, initially when she filed the charges which were down right false and crass to the core(she accused me of trying to set my baby girl on fire!, may be its lawyers craft, but ultimately its her who approved and signed these representations to the court). As time went by I realised that there are some people who can just blank out any soft emotions that may be left in them towards a soul-mate, when ego and aggression takes over and when hormones run riot, and as predatory instincts kicks in and rules the roost, throughout further ahead during the entire legal battle(or proxy war, since the girl is using the entire government machinery against the husband).

So why do some unscrupulous wives misuse the law (IPC 498a)Â.

Firstly to harass the husband, and may be to for monetary gains. One may wonder as to where exactly is the harassment when only 2% is usually convicted in case 498a cases in total. The point here is that the Indian legal process itself is a punishment in itself, especially when it lingers on aimlessly for 5-10 years!, after the harsh period of police investigations ( institutionalised blackmail to be frank).

The Indian legal system is a harassment in itself to the general public, though we are trying to see courts as our 'parks' and litigation as 'small talk', so that we ourselves do not fall into the self-destructive vortex as the wasteful trials and adjournments and other self-defeating legal processes stretch out, without any sign of closure- while life is kept in abeyance (can't restart a family, can't relocate easily, can't be free from time waste, etc.)

How can a lot of wives use badly 498a law? When it's a fact that misusing wives will lose cases anyway

Since there is no legal repercussions if wife is found to be fabricating a false 498a charge, wives use this almost by default even if they want a divorce for some other reason(other than harassment, cruelty or because of the husband demanding dowry). And even if they lose the case, thereÂs nothing for them to actually lose, as she gets a lawyer from the state (public prosecutor), she doesn't have to appear other than for her statements during trail (2-3 sessions, as opposed to the innumerable court sessions through which the accused husband & family has to go through, over the 5 to 10 years when the case is live). This no-lose situation is what makes the law-misusing wife confident of inflicting damages to her husband, by misusing Indian legal system, without any harm to her whatsoever.

Moreover in this particular criminal section of 498a, the accused is considered Guilty until proven innocent (the onus of proof is on the accused, since he is considered guilty right from the start), while in all other criminal cases, be it murder (in almost all the countries in the world) the accused is considered innocent until proven Guilty (so that the law can ensure even if hundreds of Guilty escapes/acquitted, no innocent should be punished/convicted).

So here is the case of the missing link in Evolution..... when Homo Erectus evolved to Homo Sapien(Man as known today) some section remained part Homo eructus, retaining the extreme predatory instincts of destroying whatever is objectionable.... that section of women are our modern "498a Girls". They have traded-in flower power for Fire-power, extreme need for speed indeed!.

Can't believe it......... Believe it

Cruising Deeper soon

2005-12-17T04:54:00.000-08:00

The following news came in the Bloggers park section of Mumbai Mirror. Its a prediction that Save Indian Family site had made some days back. But I am not sure what kinda situation IG Radha has got into(may be he is a crook genuinely!, but may be he has thought of all this as a shrewd escape mechanism from false implication in a Harassment case by his wife- anyway we need to investigate before we get judgemental).

But nice prediction that 498a is on the way for I.G Radha, since now a days its just a logical next for any girl in distress or a girl in greed, this false 498a is the thing which is brandished about as the ultimate panacea for girls in 'any' kind of distress or self-made plight.

Save Indian Family had predicted that IG Panda (Doosri Radha) can face a false dowry harassment case(original link at): http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/mmpaper.asp?sectid=14&articleid=1216200522535693712162005225226937

Bloggers’ park
Doosri radha (what could be behind IPS Panda’s plight?)

• Save Indian Family had predicted that IG Panda (Doosri Radha) can face a false dowry harassment case. It has come true. ...She already got an order maintenance of Rs7000. Now she wants the house as well under the threat of 498a. ...Still, the whole nation laughs at this poor man! It may be possible that Panda must have been facing harassment from his wife for a long time and that must have affected him psychologically.

• harassed? Taking 50 per cent of husband’s property is actually cruelty towards the husband as he has toiled his entire life to earn this money, which these Surpanakhas are openly and shamelessly demanding by force.http://www.saveindianfamily.org/blogs/2005/12/14/doosri-radha-in498a/

• One doesn’t know whether to sympathise with ...or condemn his conduct for bringing disgrace to the office of Inspector General of Police. Sympathise, because the man seems to have lost his sanity... and condemn, since his conduct has brought disrepute to the entire police set-up of the state....But what has happened to Panda didn’t come about overnight. Although it remains a matter of conjecture as to what factors are to blame for his present state, one thing is for sure that both officialdom and other authorities concerned feigned ignorance and were negligent for quite some time about the whole affair.http://www.indiadaily.org/entry/whos-more-insane-ips-office-turned-radha-or-system/

2005-11-30T10:00:00.000-08:00

Divorce test(courtsey: http://www.kpho.com/Global/story.asp?S=4180365&nav=23Ku )

Divorce isn't the dirty word it once was... In fact, nearly half of all first marriages now end in divorce. We hope it doesn't happen to us, but it takes more than hope.
One valley marriage counselor who came up with a divorce test you can take right now- to measure the strength of your marriage.
Larry and Ceil Toschik met the day before he shipped out to serve in World War II. “I asked if I could write to her," Larry says. Ceil remembers that meeting with a fond smile, “He was young and he was good looking.” And so their courtship began. For three years they exchanged letters, soon after, they exchanged vows. Nearly 60 years later…“There were times i loved him but i hated what was going on!” Ceil said.
Larry traded his army green for an artist’s brush. "I had an outdoor job- and over our first 20 or 30 years of marriage, she was not an outdoor woman at all!” he said. So, there were a couple decades that weren't picture perfect, but they overcame their differences; working away from home, raising 4 children, losing a son in Vietnam.
Licensed marriage & family therapist, Renee Cunningham says, “There's this myth that it doesn't take work to be happy.” Cunningham came up with five simple questions she says every couple should answer to test if their marriage is on solid ground.
1) Do you resolve conflict in your marriage? a) always b) sometimes c) never "It isn't easy- but it can be done!" Ceil said.
2) Do you trust your partner? a) always b) sometimes c) never Larry joked, “She trusted me when she had little reason to trust me, because i had a roving eye.”
Cunningham says to look for signs, “Turning away from your partner, not listening to your partner, fighting frequently, those are about not trusting.”
3) Are you able to maintain your own personal identity in your marriage? a) always b) sometimes c) never “You have to have your own life. If you don't, you're dead in the water,” warns Cunningham.
4) Do you take responsibility-- particularly where problems are concerned? a) always b) sometimes c) never “So what if they ‘win’ for a day, two days, a month?” Cunningham asks, “You gain relationship.”
5) Are you able to communicate your needs and concerns to your partner? a) always b) sometimes c) never “Are your needs being met in the bedroom? are your needs being met financially?” Cunningham said. “Eventually what happens is, you're going to communicate those needs & those wants to someone else.”
Not a problem for Ceil, “He can read me like a book!” Do you see any pattern in your answers? always, sometimes, never? Cunningham says answering ‘sometimes’ should be a warning, and ‘never,’ should be a big red flag. But as they say, never say never. “It's never, ever too late to have a good relationship,” Cunningham said.
Larry agrees, “There were some tensions there, but we loved each other and it paid off.” Larry & Ceil's secret? They stuck it out. That, they say, is what's missing with so many couples today Ceil says couples should “make every effort they possibly can to solve their problems without the divorce. There is a way. If they have any love for each other at all, they can do it.” Communication is of course- the bottom line- so hopefully your results- already have you and your spouse talking. We set up a link for more relationship questions you can answer tonight before they become problems down the road.
The website for the 22-question relationship quiz is: http://www.gottman.com/marriage/relationship_quiz/
Renee Cunningham's website is: http://www.asonefamily.org/

2005-10-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

Heard about a very interesting book titled "The Rantings of a Single Male": Losing Patience with Feminism, Political Correctness... and Basically Everything, First Edition (Paperback)by Thomas Ellis

Among the book reviews I was struck by one observation as below, observing about women:

Selfishness is not a by-product of feminism, it is a towering result of too many women being allowed to only think of themselves first and foremost. Women aren't raised to sacrifice for the greater good, for justice or for their families. There is no female version of chivalry. They are to be adored and not questioned, they are too valuable to endanger.

Yes I agree that women do tend to think that they are to be pampered(why else the term "Suitor" exists, why else does a man have to go down on his knees to propose), its evolved that way, may be it was relevant at one point in time. But as world changed and has culture changed(culture is ever changing), we ought to have collectively changed our expectations about being a man or woman. I agree men too had a big part in making a woman an object of consumption, and all that pampering and tolerance was with just 'one' thing in mind- yes the self-propogation of man, it is programmed in men. And it is programmed in women that she selects the male who has the best of health and the one who will provide her and her children with the best of resources to thrive on.

But we are supposedly in the era of equal rights(and equal duties too!, hey that comes along with rights, remember), and we know that we need to run families to fulfill many mutual needs. So why don't we all just understand that and live in harmony- its that simple, when u come to think of it.

May be we are all in the cusp of such maturity, may be people can't thrive without contradictions!. But hope that we can have some fun leading family lives, at least some fun, sometime.

More reviews on the above book at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0976261308/ref=pd_sxp_elt_l1/104-2554322-8039126

2005-10-16T23:34:00.000-07:00

'family terrorist'

Found an article on net, describing the female propensity to Terrorise. See http://www.fathersforlife.org/pizzey/terror.htm

2005-10-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

Lady Macbeth of Shakespeare

Lady Macbeth is known for being one of the most powerful and even the most feared female characters created by Shakespeare. Even in the beginning, she shows us her ruthlessness when she begins planning Ducan’s murder. She also proved to us that she is a much stronger and dominating person than her husband, but she is fully aware that it won’t be easy to get Macbeth pull through with her plans. Lady Macbeth is described as a man inside a woman’s body by her spouse, and she agrees. She explains that if she weren’t a woman that she would commit the murder on her own. Women, the play implies, can be as ambitious and cruel as men, yet social constraints deny them the means to pursue these ambitions on their own.

Macbeth is very hesitant about her decisions and wishes he did not have to carry through with her demands. However, she still seems to pressure him into proving his man hood so that he can have complete rule. Slowly, her aspirations turn into madness and guilt begins to settle in to the point where she cannot cope and she is found trying to clean up a non-existent bloodstain. The play comes to a close with her suicide as a result of her emotions overpowering her life.

In this particular monologue in the popular style of Shakespeare, Macbeth agonizes over whether or not to kill Duncan, stating that he knows the king's murder is a terrible sin. He struggles with the though. He fears not so much with the horrifying idea of regicide as with the actual fact and process of murdering a man who trusts him. He would like the king's murder to be over and done with already. She states that she herself would go so far as to take her own nursing baby and dash its brains out if she had to in order to attain her goals. Lady Macbeth goes into more detail of how they will pursue her goals until the end of the scene where he resigns from the project.
**********
The above is a character sketch taken from the net. We could help with lesser number of specimens of the above order, these characters will still be existant, but lets hope we all can tide over them or identify them before we get infront of one.

Man or Woman, if his/her greed and avarice takes over his heart its doomsday for all in vicinity including self.

2005-10-16T00:28:00.000-07:00

Matriarchy and Patriarchy- Polyandry and Polygamy :A cultural retrospect
When I read the article forwarded by Gopelalwani, I remembered my own promise to myself to continue my observation of cultures which offer fertile grounds for sparking 498a kinda situations: Ie. the Deteriorated family values and the results thereof.

The point in contention is some communities and groups in kerala and how they had evolved over centuries in the quest of social and economic advancement.

In Kerala the king used to select his women(more like in a Harem System) and give her a Saree(known as a "Pudava") to mark his intention. These girls stayed in their own homes and entertained the king(or the local ruler) whenever they dropped in for 'visits'(this kind of pseudo-harem systems were called "sambhandams"). These girls were not restricted not to have a proper marriage!, they used to marry men who are comfortable of the situation and who would run errands on behalf of his wife, even acting a messenger for the 'visits'. The chosen girl(or girls) were powerful since they had the clout to settle local disputes(almost like a extended court system, since the solution could be enforced through the kings favourable views for his chosen girl).

As a result the girls assumed power in households, and men increasingly became servile and at disposal. This trend continued even after kingdoms fell, since centuries of conditioning had by then taken over the society.
I reckon that many societies have this kind of skewed line of controls, and whoever cannot adjust to this system revolt and get into disputes, which may lead to false accusation and charges(like false cruelty and harassment charges - as in IPC 498a). The husbands who tolerated this lead a seemingly calm family, but these guys where infact waiting to vent out somewhere, and more often than not they vent it out against their son in laws!(since they do not want a man to lead any different life than themselves, sub-consciously).

So this kind of psyche also(in addition to neo-feminism) runs across many parts of India and triggers of unnecessary clashes, which leads to a 498a situation.

--- In saveindianfamily@yahoogroups.com, "Gope Lalwani" <gopelalwani@y...> wrote:> MANSA: Fraternal polyandry. If it takes a minute for the term to sink in, you're probably not affected by agrarian crisis the way farmers in Malwa region of Punjab are. Bizzare as it may sound, there is a connection. The problem of fragmentation of land holdings has led to unusual social developments. One being wife-sharing among brothers.
It may be the world's rarest forms of marriages in anthropological terms, but in Mansa district of the state, this is a reality that stares you in the face. Visit any village of Boha area - Gandu Kalan, Gandu Khurd, Reond Khurd, Bhakhrial, Aan-diawali or Khandkalan - there are families of up to seven brothers married to one woman.
The reasons are purely materialistic. It prevents the division of the family farm, thus facilitating all of the family to achieve a higher standard of living. It ensures there is one set of heirs per generation. "Polyandry helps in preventing division of land," says Dr Kuldeep Singh Deep, a noted Punjabi playwright, based in Boha town of Mansa.
He adds that publicly the woman is married to one of the brothers, but within four walls of the house there is "mutual understanding" because of which other brothers do not marry and the division of land is prevented. So far as day-to-day family decisions go, there is one brother - usually the eldest -who exercises authority respected by others. The woman, too, agrees to the practice for the well-being of her children
The concept is not new. It has been written about, depicted in plays and generally found acceptance among the farmer fraternity.
Another reason advanced for its prevalence is the importance given to landholdings in the Jat Sikh community, where marriages are settled on the basis of the land one possesses. Preference is always for a groom who has a good landholding or is in government service. With fragmentation of landholdings and high unemployment rate, it is really a Herculean task for a farmer having 2.5 acres land to find a bride for his son.
This is the reason for steady increase in the number of aging unwed boys in rural areas of Mansa, Bathinda, Faridkot, Muktsar and Sangrur districts...
Continued...<>

2005-10-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

D-Day ( + 750 ) ( outside of SIF cases Files )
Srivatsa , Nirupa & Vijay

In a small temple in Bangalore Elderly Nirupa , 70+ year old her limping husband Srivatsa and Vijay took a vow Trishti & Lila shall be brought to justice before the law . Elder abuse will not be allowed to flower . Supported starts puring in from neighbours who have been mute spectators uptil now . 498a and Dowry Cases cannot be treated as normal standard tactics of marital Game . They owe it to the society at large that shuprankhas are brought to justice. If it takes 20 years it will be done. justice ka na koi bhai , behen , mata , pita yah biwi hota hain , hota hai to bas justice . 35 years no body has ever taken , nor given dowry in family
Crime is a crime irerespective of gender .False Accusation is even worse . Madhu Kishwar could attend only one Dowry less Marriage . Vijay , Srivatsa and Vijay have attended 20+

2005-10-03T06:10:00.000-07:00

Do you not call it misuse ? ( From SIF C ase Files )

When the dowry demands mentioned are actually articles purchased by husband

When in the so called suicide attempt the hospital itself does no exist

When there is clear evidence of previous paramour

When DNA test proves adultary

When cash flow evidence shows transfer of money from husband to wife

When the Groom has loaned Rs 16 Lakhs to his father in law

When the Groom has sponsored his brother in laws education

When the demand mentioned consists of a car which is purchased by the father-in-laws brother and used by them only .

Why should we even bother to prosecute such cases !!! National Waste of time . 15 minutes of analysis is sufficent to close this cases and yet such cases have gone for 4 years 5 years

2005-10-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

Ways of heart are insane, some may say, but for the man carrying that heart, its just what his heart says. When logic and objectivity fails, turn to whatever unconventional or seemingly unreasonable way, just to save some heart.
This is a post I received in the yahoo groups, read on….
******* quote**********
hi all,
i did try all these in the last 6 months as i said all religious ways.
As
far as the hindu way is concerned
1. there is one astrologer in hyderabad i consult often and plan my
move
and do all rituals
2. there is one astroler in delhi ( who send me divya mangala chakra
golden
one). its a combination of mantra , tantra and yantra ( yantra which i
worship daily, mantra which i recite and tantra which i wear ). he also
advices me regulary
3. there is one indian priest here who often i meet every week and
tells me
to do lot of rituals. i kept a 2 month fast in august and september to
save
this marriage as per his advice. there is one holy ritual performed
here
every year where in you have to pick some offerings from burning hot
oil and
submit to god to fulfill ur wishes and i did that with complete faith
but to
my surprice my hands did not burn. he is oneway my local consultant
4. there is one nadi astrologer from chennai whom i consulted who told
me to
perform rituals every sunday in my wife name .so i go to that temple
every
sunday and offer my prayer in my wife name
5. there is a numerologist i got in touch recently here who asked me to
wear
a ring which i wil be wearing from october 10th.,
now the christian way..
1 there is a paster here ( church fathers here are called paster ) who
prays for our matter every friday. i try to meet him often and i go
thru
bible regularly on this matter.
now the muslim way.
1. there is a malay guy whom im in touch last 3 months who asks me to
pray
in a muslim way. i do that rituals also.
these are all the things im doing till date. if you think there is any
other way or any person u think can be more effective, i dont mind
consulting him..too..
because i m committed for this matter and can go to any extent in
spiritual
way.
thanks and regards
******* Un quote**********
I don’t prescribe to the ways discussed above, but I perfectly understand the mind which is thinking all this… in hurt. When the force which is supposed to be the strength of your shoulder, partner in your life, turns back and knives u to a gory situation worse than death itself, one could think of turning to any corner which could possibly bring relief, and sanity to that cheating partner.

But thinking more practically, one has to take a problem solving approach and solve step by step all those hurdles, just let the fear and stress boost you to reach the solution. Its often said that being guided by heart does not often yield any materialistic results, "no sentiments in business"- and when survival becomes the sole business in your life, you better think with your logical brain(let the emotional brain take a break, till u r ready to absorb some more blows :)

2005-10-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Sons quitting Mother India

The laws of the motherland India are giving step motherly treatment to her very own sons. Their future is in jeopardy by putting the sons and his parental family in to perils.

I am writing this because of several mails that we get to read in our Inboxes, I have one of those unfortunate mails to share with you. (Identity is kept a secret on purpose)

Hi Jinesh,
Thanks for replying to my email. As it stands now we are currently trying the mediation route with my in-laws although they have already filed a false complaint for 498a and got my mother arrested in such a way that it fell on the weekend and it took 4 days to get her out on bail.

I'm currently in the US working for an MNC. My mother is a cancer patient and is living alone in India. If you have gone through this situation I don't have to mention the pain and agony I and my family are going through. I want to get her out of India from this hatred and injustice

I sincerely hope you are not going through a similar situation, if you are my prayers and wishes go for you and your family.

Thank you for all your help!

Ashish.

With such dangers the sons are considering better options and they prefer to be adopted by different mother(lands) and are successfully and loyally working for them and in return they are atleast getting their peace of mind. and basic right to livelyhood.

And statistician cleverly project this as a "brain drain".

God Save this Country and the fellowmen.

Jinesh Zaveri.

2005-09-29T00:15:00.000-07:00

Found an interetsing article by a lady: Yes, no one is immune to this misuse of Harassment Law(can be interpreted as the law which prevents harassment of women, and also the law which unscrupulous women use to harass all and sundry related to husband!) . Can't believe it?, believe it... you just have to be distantly related to any husband, for you to be rounded by the police and be put in remand, until such time as police deems fit!, how about that for a draconian concept of law! . Read on....

Article "Spare a thought for Dowry law abuse" by Devi Cherian
http://www.dailypioneer.com/columnist1.asp?main_variable=Columnist&file_name=CHERIAN56.txt&writer=CHERIAN&validit=yes

2005-09-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

I just got this message to the yahoo group, from a man in extreme stress and emotional turmoil: Because he is fighting his own heart whichs splitting inside him. Many of us, no most of us, may be all of us, have gone through this ordeal. The message from our brother......read on..... Yet another 498a scenario, IPC.. thy name Hell!
******** Quote*********
last 24 hours, i have posted many messages and u all hv been nice torespond as much as possible, it may be bugging for some, some might think im getting unnecessarily worried, but the fact is im really suffering hardwhile im going thru these stages and thanks to your support, u keep memoving ahead, at work also i m too hectic, basically im in IT profession and more intoclient meetings and demos like that..whole day i was busy with lot of workand appoitments but this thing haunted me like anything whereever i go.

wellthe latest news i have got in my case is that , they have received my replynotice and our lawyer has confirmed this and asked our parents to gounderground for a while. i have already moved to them to my frinds place. ijust called up my mom and it brings lot of tears to me to see them runningaround to places to hide, they have left their home thanks to giving birthto a son like me. it seems my frind and his wife are taking very good careof my parents.

its too hurting man going thru all this. one more thing istill dont have that kind of hatred toward my wife unlike most of others.some how i liked her and married her and that liking will still be there...i knw i have reached a stage where i m going to suffer even being withher and even without her. i hv tried my best to save this marriage. infactmy last 2 years went only for this purpose. i have used numerology,astrology, palmistry and all possible astro remedies to save this marriage.i have done the hindu, christian and muslim rituals also.there is nothingthat i left to save this marriage and i know today i cannot lose anythingmore than that. but life has to move on,, atleast it has to move for people who care for melike my parents,brother and sister. as i sign off for the day, i really dont know wht is in store tommorrow. ijust hope things will be fine hoping on a famous quote from bible " AND YET IN A LITTLE WHILE , HE WHO COMES WILL COME AND WILL NOT DELAY".
***** Un-Quote*******

Many of us have tried to analyse the situation with a heavy heart, which pounded "why me, why me". One of our members came up with this risk assessment after going through traits of people involved in many cases. http://www.geocities.com/gorky_maksim/pages/assessrisk.htm .

I do agree whole-heartedly most often than not, gentleness is mistook for meekness. And when one only wants to love someone else, to get back such kind of barbarous treatment is something which scalds and bruises human psyche forever, many people just turn despondents, many rebels, some trudge on with hope- but none the same old self, innocense is lost 100%(may be thats what it takes to live in this age of crooks, Kaliyuga!).

Where do we go.......
DeeperUnderground?

2005-09-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

I just read a book by Osama Bin Laden’s sister in Law, Carmen Bin Ladin, named "Inside the Kingdom". It describes the life in Saudi more from a women’s view point – which is Horrible, to say the least. However I jokingly thought to myself that Saudi would have adopted these kinda laws(Sharia) for women after widespread misuse of 498a law back in 7th century AD!.

While searching the blogs on this book I found http://www.nomadicfusion.com/blog/2005/5/30/a-new-counterterrorism-strategy-feminism.html . Which basically says uplifting women of Saudi would in effect arrest & curb Bin Laden’s terrorism "a new counterterrorism strategy: feminism? " .

I am sure that’s(uplifting women, in the real sense) the solution for ending the trend of Legal Terrorism in India, by way of minimising Misuse of Law- namely IPC 498a. And we better have some brave women like Carmen to proclaim this aloud, and talk/write sense into the burgeoning folk of warring Amazons- who don’t even bat an eyelid before they press false charges against their husbands.

Regards
Deep
PS: another blog on this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/quaker_mole/387227.html

2005-09-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

The D-Day and Pre Day Story ( True Story from SIF Case files )
D-Day ( -1)
Nirupa Roy comes to to her son Vijay house . Trishti had gone to her sister Lila's Place after eating the Break fast prepared by Nirupa . Vijay goes to work in Basvanugudi Bangalore.
In two hours her receives a call on his mobile from Trishti Saying that he should immediately sent his mother Nirupa back to Chikmanglur. Vijay asks what exactly is her problem . Trishti says I will not allow even the saaya of Nirupa to fall on my sons face. Vijay asks Trishti to calm down Trishti increases voice and repeats the threat " SHALL I PROCEED " . Vijay Pacifies Trishti and Drops his work and comes back to home . Trishti is not at home. Trishti had gone to Lila's Place again probably for furthur advise on how to provoke .

Trishti comes back with 6 month old abhay . Nirupa is cooking while Trishti & Vijay Play with Abhay . Trishti goes into Kitchen and suddenly shouts with full blown Voice " WHY HAVE YOU TOUCHED ABHAYS COOKER " . Nirupa is flabbergasted. Vijay comes and pacifies Trishti and says if Nirupa Probably did not know how sensitive Trishti is to Nirupa touching abhays item and also asks what is the problem if Nirupa touches Cooker. Trishti says " YOU ARE HARASSING ME . NIRUPA HAS COME TO HARASS ME . I MADE HER STAY AWAY FOR 3 YEARS AND NOW YOU ARE ALLOWING HER TO STAY . I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS NIRUPA CANNOT SEE ABHAY".
Nirupa Asks when can she Trishti's mother . Trishti shouts " NO NEED TO COME AND SEE MY MOTHER YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE FAMILY DO NOT EVEN TRY TO MEET VIJAY AND ABHAY " . Vijay then pacifies her " she has come only for a week" . Trishti " GET HER OUT NOW" . This goes on for an hour with vijay calmly pacifying and Trishti slowly losing her breath .

Every one goes to Sleep

D-DAY

Evening 8:00 P.M.
Trishti comes home from her sister Lila's Place ( Strategies Prepared our victims surmise) and of course looking after her mother who is in hospital having broken her leg.
Nirupa comes having bought some vegetables. Vijay plays with Abhay while Trishti Goes to kitchen . Two minutes later Trishti says " TAKE THAT OUT OF MY FRIDGE" . Nirupa "it is a good vegetables . I will keep it in lower shelf" . Trishti takes it out of the fridge and keeps it n the ledge . Nirupa calmly puts it back again . Trishti " DID YOU NOT HERE I DO NOT WNAT THE VEGETABES IN THE FRIDGE " . Vijay comes with Abhay in his Lap . Vijay "it is not your fridge dear to order my mother not to put vegetables. She has has come only for a day and your are behaving like this " . Trishti " YOU ARE HARASSING ME . YOU ARE TYRING TO THROW ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE" . Trishti snatches Abhay and runs out of the house at 8:30 P.M.
She comes back in minute later saying forgot her mobile and takes it and again goes to her sister Lilas place.

D-DAY + 3
section 498a & dowry harassment
BLAH , BLAH , BLAH

D-DAY + 500 days
Pronuncement by High Court
" The punishment for the mistake of marrying an arrogant woman cannot be a criminal case"

This story is entirely true and not any perception of events . The names of victims of 498a and agressors have been changed since the victims are totally exhausted.

2005-09-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

Mayur and Preeti got married in a jiffy, nothing else describes their marriage than this.

Preeti was a very well-natured, but popular girl wherever she went(school , college or office), her simplicity and innocence. She always made it sure that all those suitors were denied, since she wanted to marry someone the Indian way!, the arranged and announced way. Her family loved her that much, as to make her think of them before she thought of herself. This may have been a bane in retrospect, as they say in flight safety announcements, put the safety mask on yourselves before you help others!. She lived with her parents, near to her married sister(whose son she doted, maybe she wanted to have a kid of her own, too soon, in retrospect)

Mayur had a very troubled childhood. His mother was a very fiery lady, who went on to say that her husband raped her and Mayur was the result. He had been hearing this all his childhood, that is whenever he came home for vacations of the boarding school his mother decided to park him away. His mother was interested in living a queen size life, and would do whatever it takes to do that(she was in the travel and hospitality industry, which had ways and means to achieve her goal). Mayur's mind was warped because of these conditioning, in addition to the sexual harassment he had to endure all his schooling days, from various person, since he was seen as a meek person by all. All this made him a volcano waiting to erupt, he never could stick to his own decisions, since his mother and aunt used to decide for him all his life.

Mayur had given his details/bioddata in his companies intranet, in the section which facilitated matrimonial alliances, since his mom and aunt wanted only his money(in dollars ,since he was now in US working onsite for an Indian company). Preeti got Mayur's details forwarded by her friend in Mayur's company. She responded with her details to Mayur's email. Mayur came to see her during his 25 day vacation to India, he liked Preeti without much delay(he wanted a friend dearly), and told Preeti's folks that engagement and Marriage should happen before he goes back to US. Preeti's family was delighted, the guy was a good match prima facie!- the only stuff they couldn't digest was the way he requested not to inform the matter to his mom, whatever needed would be dealt with by his aunt.

Anyway marriage happened, and they went to aunts place(mom still not informed!, since she was against all men- not their money of course). The first day itself was a shocker to Preeti, aunt went on to explain how Mayur could have got a better birl, with a lot of assets, etc. Second day was bad since his mom came to know and had a showdown in front of Mayur. The following days were even worse for Preeti, Mayur changed 180 degrees from what he was while he used to date her before marriage, it was as if he was possessed.

He started doubting her every move, not letting her outside alone at all. They went to US as scheduled, but Mayur would lock her up, when he went to work. The situation only got bad, when Mayur found Preeti emailing her parents about whats going on, that day he threw her at the wall, and when he found that she cut her forehead and was bleeding profusely, the only concern was to stop blood and to make the gash unnoticeable!.

The torture and madness worsened and one day Preeti mustered courage, and demanded that she wants to go back, in his un-predictable state of mind Mayur agreed and she came back to India. After 6 months Preeti got Mayurs legal notice informing his intention to file for Divorce with Mutual consent. Preeti was happy and relieved, since the scars were fading, but her nightmares were not.

In the meanwhile Deep had met Preethi, they were friends at school. He told her about the false 498a complaint his wife put on him, and commented that it was the likes of preethi who should use this law. Preethi's answer was that she doesn't want to take revenge on Mayur, nor does she has dreams to get rich like Deep's wife by putting a 498a case. She was confident to live a life of dignity forgetting her past.

Deep thought....Strange are the ways of people, the ones who act 'the victim' are undeserving, the deserving has better ways out!.

(Characters are Fictitious, though the traits and character sketches and inspired from life)

2005-09-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

2005-09-23T01:19:00.000-07:00

We had a debate in the yahoo of SIF, as to why an issue snowballs to the invoking of a 498a(false or half-true- where in the girls intention is not getting a ransom amount, but to get even for some reason). Genuine cases also happens, that’s my next story being posted soon, its going to be interesting, it really shook-me up too, do wait for that post.

Some victims said its because the girls are advised by parents or advocates (when she starts staying away from her husband, due to some fights(initial, no very serious in nature) to put a false case(Accusing attempts to murder, demand of dowry etc., whichs just put to complete the 'requirements/ingredients' of a 498a offense). Like in a situation similar to Deep and Meeth ( my earlier post).

But some feel that girls are provoked since boys expect a certain level of submissiveness, which they have been conditioned to expect out of wife!. I quote the words of a friend in verbatim "I feel that we
Indian males implicitly believe in our inherent superiority over females, and then unknowingly act in
a manner which may be insulting to them. Then when our spouses react to that, we feel infuriated because
we've been spoonfed since childhood that a good wife never shouts back at her husband or in-laws. So, we
try to suppress her which further complicates the matters.”

I personally think of the following trends/causes, as the main reasons of rifts and then deterioration to 498a levels.
1) Parental Influence(parents(especially Indian) seems to have a reason to be worried in the initial stages of marriage, and hence be liable to wrong panic triggers, which only helps to further roughen the situation- with each side defending their own forts, come what may!)
2) Advice of legally half-baked confidants, that 498a is the panacea for ego-gratification and settling scores(simple miya-biwi jagada’s!- small tiff’s between the man and wife)
3) Wrong values and upbringing(not respecting women or men, as is needed in a society, let alone as a couple)
4) Ego , Complexes, Vindictiveness
5) Lack of self-confidence, hence leading way to comparisons and external-orientation
6) Viewing a partner as a commodity to be owned, and who had no right or duties of themselves
7) Extra marital affairs
8) Greed, Avarice & Lust

Would like more inputs and counters in this regard, so that we can arrive at some level of awareness using this brainstorming.

regards
Deep

2005-09-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

In the mad rush of Mumbai, in between the evening crunch to get home and rest, Deep met Meeth. She was the quintessential Mumbaite, trying to get on to the local train which was just approaching VT station, and determined to get that seat of hers. He was now a 6 year old in Mumbai, relocated for his Job from Bangalore.

Several dates and chat later, they decided that they need to marry, they were so perfect a 'dove-tail joint' match. Meeth's family had a lawyer pop, and home maker(and also policy maker!) mom, an elder brother who is a small time financier.

Deep was the only son of his parents, father owns a farm and is the wise old man of his village, mom is a teacher in primary school. Deep was a young man with a lot of ambitions and love inside, who had a good life and family around him.

Meeth's family had lost its glory when the era of Zamindars and 'Raj' ended. She did have a decent life and education, but with a lot of help from her uncle's side.

Deep was an active guy, reaching out to everyone he meets. Ever innovative and adventurous, straying from the time tested and sober ways of life and profession. This trait of experimenting and achieving, brought a lot of detractors in his life, as such he had detractors from his relatives side, since his family was well-off.

Meeth was conditioned by her parents to be scheming and manipulative since now the family subsisted on funds from their relatives. Their ego did not let them live a normal, transparent life.

Marriage happened, with the blessings if both families. But Deep got deeper in troubles by the passing day, he was faced with Taunts, Insults, comparisons and unworthy negativism from Meeth. Since both did love each other , even though Meeth's conditioning got the better of her and she displayed this negativism time and again. Deep, out of love that brought them together in the place, tried to talk out of this unpleasant situation, but nothing seemed to work.

Meeth was keeping in touch with her family by phone, natural for someone who has only left home for 2 years of Master’s education. But the problem was her mother’s curiosity and power-mongering nature, she wanted her daughter to be in charge of the family in all respects(because she herself ruled over her husband back home!- it’s the culture over there!). On top of everything Deep’s own aunts schemed against him by poisoning Meeth’s mind. Deep didn’t realise whats happening, because he was not able to interpret the reactions of Meeth, when he was only giving her love and freedom to do whatever she likes.

To add trouble to all this, Meeth’s elder brother, Jeeth, did not like Deep’s pride in his abilities and achievements, he wanted a Yes-man in Deep!. With his connections with lawyers and related advisors, Jeeth knew how to humble any husband just with a false complaint of Harassment and Cruelty under IPC section 498a .

The rest is history, things just snowballed into a false 498a case, now Deep and Meeth lost their peace of mind along with a beautiful chance of building a loving family together.

(Characters are Fictitious, though the traits and character sketches and inspired from life)

2005-09-14T05:18:00.000-07:00

Agreed that gender wars have been on from time immemorial (yeah, human beings need to have some conflict or the other, in their lives, somehow). But how can anyone explain ladies (or girls) thinking about strangling their life-partners(chosen ones, most often than not) legally, with a false complaint.

I am talking about the misuse of 498a(section of Indian Penal code), which originally is a law to prevent Harassment and Cruelty by Husbands and relatives towards wives. Without going into the legalities, I wish to enquire the reasons of this rift and later vicious clash, between 2 people who shared and were to share the most intimate times of their lives- I am sure a lot of couples started out with a fight, just with a bit of anger, ego, vengeance. But whats sustaining this prolonged hatred which makes someone to ruin the other partner, mentally, physically, socially, economically and worst spiritually(which makes one think that this life's not worth living- see what its giving back!).

I do have some inferences of why this seem to happen, but would like to hear from the affected, bystanders, the remotely affected & unaffected. Just to form a data bank of inferences, from which we can distill down to specific reasons and hence to some possible solution.

To read more about this situation you can go to the links below:
http://misuseof498a.clawz.com/
http://misuse498a.tripod.com/

Legal Resources
Indian Penal Code- IPC: i) u need to register free for this http://www.mahalibrary.com/Logon.asp?p=/show_options.asp&part=yes&id=186045&file=186045p1.asp&law=&cf=%20
ii) the free one: http://www.indialawinfo.com/bareacts/ipc.html
2) for Criminal Procedure code , refer: http://www.mahalibrary.com/show_subhead.asp?p=yes&file=197402p1.asp&id=197402
3) http://www.pariwariksuraksha.org/Legal%20Help.htm

So long,
Cruiser